Happy New Year: One Word

2013 is about to close, and a new chapter, a blank page is about to be set down before us.  What kind of story will be written this year?  I am ready to find out.  

For the second year, I am participating in One Word.  Over the past month, I mulled over a few words that were relevant and significant to me.  I believe the word God has for me this year is "Live".  I know the idea behind One Word is how do you want to "live" your life, but I felt like there was more to this for me.  

Of course, I want to live more fully, freely, joyfully, thankfully, giving, and all those other good things.  However, I believe God wants to me to just live.  To not hide under the bed sheets and in the corners of rooms with crowds, not to hide behind the mask of depression.  Rather, to bring to life the things that I've let die a little over time, frustrations and unbelief.  

The scripture that has popped up over and over to me since August has been Ezekiel 37:1-14.  God asked Ezekiel "Son of man, can these bones live?"  He told Ezekiel to prophesy to these dead, dry bones.  He told him to prophesy "live" and God would breathe new life to them, and they would know that God was the LORD.

Here is what leaps out to me.  Ezekiel obeyed God and prophesied.  Those bones came together and God re-created their bodies, down to the very veins and tissues to come to life again.  Verse 11 says "Then he said to me, "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel.  Behold, they say 'Our bones are dried up, and our hope is lost; we are indeed cut off."  

Let's substitute something there for bones.  Our dreams are dried up.  Our hope is dried up.  Our gifts are dried up.  Our love is dried up.  Our life is dried up.  Our motivation is dried up.  Our ____________ is dried up.  Our hope is lost.    

God is impressing on me that He wants to re-create areas in my life that are dried up.  Things I've set aside, either by burying them or by neglecting them.  He wants to resurrect life in me.  Hope in me.  Optimism in me.  It's not for my glory, but His alone.  

When others can see the life of God in me, then I'm fulfilling my call in this life.  If I walk around without life, or without living fully, how am I drawing others to the goodness of God.  For too long, I've allowed life to suck the good life out of me.  The "joy unspeakable and full of glory" kind of life.  The "God is good all the time" kind of life.  

So, instead of making a New Year's resolution, I am choosing One Word to shape my year.  This year, I am going to LIVE.  That may mean fewer posts from me.  It will likely mean less time on Twitter or Facebook or any other social media site because, really, what good is living when it's through other people's pictures.  I still enjoy those things, but not so many hours a week.

My hope is that this year, we will all find our life hidden in Christ.  That our relationship with Him will be more intentional and will grow more intimate.  I pray that we will be led by the Holy Spirit in all things, even the small decisions.  I hope that we will live life to the fullest.  

"Wherever you are, be all there."  I have lived the runner, panting ahead in worry, pounding back in regrets, terrified to live in the present, because here-time asks me to do the hardest of all: just open wide and receive."  - Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts

   

Random Thoughts

My plan was to not write for the rest of the year.  I was taking a December break to focus attention on my loved ones and not on writing, tweeting, facebooking, etc.  But, this has also been a very unusual month for my family.  Honestly, I just have too much on my mind to not write.  I wrote in my journal next to my bed last night, and it felt so good to write.  I just need to pour out the stuff in my head.

This month.  This month has been hard.  My father-in-law passed away and it was heart breaking.  It was heartbreaking for me because I really loved him.  He was a good guy, and loved his family, even if he didn't say it enough as he alluded the day before he passed.  It was heartbreaking because my husband was hurting.  He felt robbed of having as much time as his siblings had with his dad.  His closest sibling (in age) is 8 years older than he is.  It was heartbreaking because my kids had so many questions about life after death, and we just really didn't know how to answer them with regard to my father-in-law.  My father-in-law never made a confession of faith in front of us, though there are signs that he might have done so just a couple days before he passed away.

My mom was in and out of town, and sick as a dog each trip.  The second trip, just before our family Christmas, she was diagnosed with the flu.  I felt bad that she couldn't enjoy Christmas as much as I know she wanted to.  On top of that, I just wasn't feeling the Christmas spirit, but trying so hard to make it special for my boys.  They are growing so fast, and I never know how much longer they will enjoy the "magic" of it all.

My dad's birthday is the day after Christmas.  This year, it also happened to be the day that his sister passed away.  My dad is 24 years younger than his sister, so it wasn't completely unexpected, though it happened on his birthday.  She was a lovely lady, even to the end.  As a child, she would always have cake, cookies, chips and soda ready for us whenever we'd stop by, even if it was unannounced, an ever-ready hostess.  The pastor at her service today said "She found her calling and was committed to it to the end.  She served her family well."  I would say, as her niece, this is one of the most true statements I've ever heard.  She had a servants heart, and would most definitely give her last penny to help another if she needed to.  

And, this is a totally different subject, but it's been burning in me since I saw it.  We saw "Frozen" a couple of weeks ago with the kids.  My boys had no idea it was a princess movie, and quite frankly neither did I.  The previews made it look like it was about the snowman, though I read somewhere it was based on Hans Christian Andersen's story "The Snow Queen".  Needless to say, I was delighted, and surprised to find my boys delighted, too.

The thing about the story is that it reminded me so much of Christ's love for us.  He pursues us, even in our frozen heart stages.  There was so much redemption in this story, but I especially loved how Princess Anna sacrificed her life for her sister.  It was true love that saved her sister, and true love that, in return, saved her.  It reminded me of how Jesus sacrificed himself on the cross for us, to save us, to redeem us.  And, how He can take our hardened heart and melt away the ice to give us a heart of love.  Ah, there was just so much about this movie that I loved.

Finally, I have narrowed down my One Word.  These three words have been on my heart, but I can really only choose one for the year.  Actually, I think they can all be related.  These are the 3 that were most present in my prayer time over this word:

Intentional - because I believe God wants me to be more intentional in my life, in every area.  I believe He wants me to be intentional about my friendships, my family, my relationship with Him, my church activities, my health and well-being, my writing, everything.

Believe - because I just finished Beth Moore's "Believing God" study, and I believe God wants me to trust Him more, believe His word more.  I need to be so rooted in Him that nothing shakes my faith.  Firm foundation believing.

Live - because the Lord keeps bringing up Ezekiel 37:1-14 to my remembrance.  Prophesy to those dry bones, the breath of God wants to come in you and breathe you to life!  So many dreams and life I've let pass by and die by the wayside because of insecurities or unbelief, and God is saying to me now - LIVE!  

I believe LIVE is the word for me this year.  There is so much to that, and I know God is working in me to live life fully, to be intentional and believe in my living.  I don't think it is any accident that believing and intentional were also on my mind.  I truly believe they were intended to help me "live" with purpose, on purpose.  

If you're still reading, thank you.  I know your time is precious, and this post was long and random.  I appreciate you listening, and letting me clear my head of all these thoughts.  Looking forward to sharing 2014 with you all!  

A Thankful Heart: Reflect, for Dad

This is the first time I've had to sit and write for a week.  Prior to the past week, I was taking a short sabbatical.  My father-in-law lay in a hospital bed 2000 miles away slowly dying of an untreatable heart ailment.  This time of the year, I prefer not to write as much anyway.

However, I find it perfectly fitting that God would inspire the five minute Friday word prompt to be Reflect.  I am linking up over at Lisa Jo Baker's for Five Minute Friday - about 5 days late.  

I've spent the past 6 days reflecting with the passing of my father-in-law.  His impact on me.  His impact on my husband.  My children, my mother-in-law.  The whole family.  Each one of us had a different relationship with him.  Each one of us loved him.  

The thing that struck me most at the wake and his funeral was the number of people who came to pay respect to a wonderful man.  He was a CPA, so I was really in awe at the people who were clients who came in.  What kind of man was this that your tax client would come to see you when you die?  I think that said a lot about his integrity.

Then there were people who had known him for 30 years through the Wequaquet Lake Yacht Club where he once served as Commodor.  This was the place where he won sunfish sailboat races, where he spent hours developing bonds.  This place was where he taught his son, my husband, how to race as well.  I think this said so much about his character, his love for others.

There were others who knew him from childhood or other organizations.  And then, there was family.  He was a husband, a father, a grandfather, a great-grandfather, brother and uncle.  He meant a great deal to each of us.  He imparted so much wisdom to us.  

My personal love for him was one born in great respect.  He worked hard for what he had.  He loved to travel.  He knew a lot about a lot of things, and was rich with wisdom.  Much of that was probably earned over time and experience, but I enjoyed listening to him.  I admired him, and I'm not sure he ever really knew how much I did.

Each year at tax time, we had a question, and we always knew Dad would have the answer.  It's what he did for a living, but for us, it's what he did out of love.  He was always generous to us with his time, his expertise, and in every way he possibly could be.  

I am rejoicing over his life and the impact he made on his wife and on each one of his 5 children, spouses and grandchildren.  I grieve over our loss and how much he will be missed.  We will miss you, Dad.