Be Still and Rest

I tend to be impatient.  An all or nothing kind of girl, I give up if something doesn't work right after a few tries.  If I exercise and don't see any results in the first week, I give up.  We live in a fast world where everything is get it now.  I mean, I signed up for Amazon Prime so I could get my packages in two days!  Gotta have it now.

But God.  God has a different timeline than we do.  It's not always an instant success or breakthrough.  Sometimes, it takes patience on our part and trust to know that He will bring promises to pass when the time is right.  Sometimes, it's hard to be still and rest in Him.  It's hard to lean into Him and trust that He knows the past, present and future better than we do.  

Oh, friend, that you and I both would put our hope in Him.  That we would both trust that He knows our comings and our goings.  May we both find stillness and rest in Him today, so that as we go about our day, we see Him working all around us.  

What is keeping you from resting in Him today?  Would you join me in leaning into Him today?

Father, we rest in You today.  We put our trust in You and know that You are our beginning and end.  We lean hard into You and ask You to lead us into Your promises, to the yes for our lives and to walk away from the no.  Let us be sensitive to Your leading today.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Fill Me, Lord

Linking up for Five Minute Friday, for the first time over at Kate Motaung's place.  This is a fabulous community of bloggers that link arms on Friday to write for five minutes flat, no editing.  Come join in the fun with us!  This is Kate's first week since taking over for Lisa Jo Baker!

Fill me, Lord.  It's a simple prayer, and it's one I've prayed a thousand times, or more, in my lifetime.  The thing I often forget is that God is just waiting for me to take the first step in getting that prayer answered.  I can pray that prayer until I no longer have breath, but if I don't do my part, I will still be as empty as I ever was.

Have you ever heard the saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"?  That's how I feel about my part in Jesus filling me.  I'm standing on the edge of the water, and He's calling out to me to step in.  He's calling me to get filled up, but if I just stand there at the edge, I can not get filled.

Too often I am more apt to fill up on the junk instead of the one thing that can keep me satisfied.

Instead of filling up on peace, I drown myself in the cares and chaos of this world.

Instead of filling up on joy, I get so focused on problems and the hopelessness that accompany them.

Instead of filling up on love, I allow anger to seep in and boil over to those who are most important to me.

Instead of filling up on the goodness of God, I meditate on how people have failed me.

Instead of filling up on Jesus, I fill up on TV, movies, books, the internet, and anything else that turns my heart from Him.

This is a surrender of sorts.  I want to be filled with Him.  Empty me of me, so I can be filled with You, Lord.  Let my sights be set on You.  Let my hope and trust rest in You.  I don't want to be spiritually dehydrated and spiritually anorexic.  Let me fill up at your table, and let your great love satisfy me.  

Bloom

It's been a while, but I'm finally linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker and the amazing Five Minute Friday community of bloggers with the word prompt BLOOM.  

I don't consider myself a "mommy" blogger.  It's not because I'm not a mom, because I am.  It's because, as a mom, I feel the most inadequate in all my roles in life.  I don't have creative ideas for road trips, or pinterest worthy ideas for getting the kids to obey and do chores.  

However, motherhood, has altered my life in so many wonderful and fulfilling ways.  Motherhood, in all it's triumphs and fears, in all the laughter and tears, in all the trials and victories, is where the most growth has happened in my life.  

For years, I looked to my mom and some of the ladies I grew up knowing as "second" mom's to me as being the ideal mothers.  They were the unattainable perfection for my unrealistic goals regarding being a mom. I held them on a pedestal, and now I understand where my admiration came from.

These ladies labored long and hard for years raising their children.  They went through the very growth that I am going through now.  God grew them spiritually through their natural work of motherhood.

I am a terrible gardener, and would consider myself a brown thumb.  

Something I've learned recently about growing a good plant that will bloom in it's season is this: it requires pruning.  Pruning is necessary to bring forth the harvest, the fruit, the full bloom.  God is in the business of pruning our broken, dead and overgrown areas of our lives so we can bloom into the gift He's called us to be - to bloom into the purpose for which He's called us. 

This is what wikipedia says about the purpose of pruning:  Reasons to prune plants include deadwood removal, shaping (by controlling or directing growth), improving or maintaining health, and both harvesting and increasing the yield or quality of flowers and fruits. 

God is working away in us, removing the dead parts, shaping us to direct our growth, and he's improving our spiritual health to increase the yield and quality of the fruits that we bear.  

Motherhood, is the place where I realize just how much of a sinner I am, and how far short of God's glory I fall.  But, when I look at those mature mothers, who are like strong, old oak trees, who have weathered the storms and still bloom with green leaves, when I look at them, I now understand the reason they bloom  is from the pruning through the early years.  

They are the perfect example of Psalm 92:14 (AMP) "[Growing in grace] they shall still bring forth fruit in old age..."

Let your roots dig deep into Him, for it's in deep roots that we will bloom.  Let's be determined to learn in this season of motherhood, and see where God wants to take us to bloom.  This is a season of pruning for me, and now I'm truly grateful for the growth that is taking place.

Release

Linking up with Lisa Jo Baker, and the Five Minute Friday community of bloggers.  Today's prompt word is Release.  Join us if you can!

I've held on so tightly, trying to stay in control.  I am a perfectionist, who is completely imperfect.  I have struggled with insecurity and belonging and worthiness.  Living all of this while God is there saying "let go, give it all to me."

See, nothing in this world is mine.  It all belongs to Him.  This blog that "I" started, is not mine to hoard, but His to do what He wants to do with it.  It's all for His glory.  

When I say "I'm not good enough, I don't write well enough, my story doesn't matter", I am essentially saying God, I can't release this - it's all mine anyway.  There is nothing I can say on my own doing that will change a life, but if I let Him flow through me, He can do amazing things.  

If I let go of needing to be perfect, saying it perfect like some of my favorite writers do, He can flow through me more freely.  If I can let go of needing to be in control, He can take the reigns and give me bigger dreams than I can give myself.  

I choose today, to release it all to Him.  To let go of needing to direct my steps, and instead, let Him lead me like the gentleman He is.  I give it all to you, Lord.  I let go.

Nothing There

I'm WAY late for Five Minute Friday this week.  But, I finally had 5 minutes to sit and this is what poured out.

I've tried for weeks to sit and write.
Nothing is there.
Even in my quiet, thinking time,
Nothing is there.

My art feels empty and contrived,
Nothing is there.
Trying hard not to strive, but
Nothing is there.

Where are you, Lord when it seems
You are not there?
Why can't I feel, hear or see
When I know You ARE there?

Create in me a clean heart
Let something be there.
Distractions try to clutter my heart,
but let nothing be there.

I hide myself in You,
Only You are there.
You make all things new,
Something is there.

Draw Me Close

On a morning when I'm feeling distant, the only thing I can sing is "Draw Me Close To You" by Michael W. Smith.  When this song came out over 10 years ago, it was on constant repeat in my car.  I couldn't get enough of singing that to Jesus.  Just help me know you are near, Lord.

Isn't that what our hearts desire the most?  To know He is close.  To know He is near.  An ever-present help in times of need, and close when the seas are calm, too.  Some scriptures to help us remember that God is close to us today, and always:

James 4:8 (AMP)  "Come close to God, and He will come close to you..."    

Isaiah 55:6 (MSG)  "Seek God while he’s here to be found, pray to him while he’s close at hand."

Psalm 145:18 (NLT) "The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth."

Psalm 34:18 (NIV) "The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Hebrews 10:22 (ESV) "let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water."

These are just a handful of examples of God wanting to be close to us.  He promises to come close to us if we will come close to Him.  He's near to us when we seek Him.  He's close to us when we call on His name.  He's close to us when we are crushed and broken.  And, we can be confident in drawing close to Him because our hearts have been washed with the blood of Jesus, we are made new.

So, when we sing or pray "Draw Me Close To You", we can sing or pray it in full confidence that He hears us, is close, and ready to answer that prayer.  It's my prayer this morning as I think about where I am in my walk, in my heart, and even in my head.  It's my prayer for you, too.  Let's draw close to Him together, friend.

Linking up with Lisa Jo Baker today for FMF,  The word prompt is "close".  Will you take a chance and join us today?  You will be so encouraged by the beautiful words of others, I promise!

Trading Mess for a Message

"Mess creates stress."  That's what my mom used to tell me when my apartment had the appearance of being broken into and ransacked.  Coming from my mom, that's the truth.  She and my sister have the gene to have a place for everything and everything in it's place.  Somehow, that part of her DNA was not passed on to me.  It intimidated me to the point of never wanting anyone over for fear of my mess being looked down upon.

However, I look at mess differently now.  While I like to have things neat and tidy, it rarely happens in a house with two boys, a husband, a dog and a fish, and my own "green" personality.  I've learned to appreciate the art of what happens in my mess.  You see, my mess is mostly internal.  Working through years of self-doubt, self-esteem issues and depression.  I've found that internal mess creates just as much stress as the external stuff.  

The thing is, God has used all of it.  He has used every single mess I've ever gotten myself into, or made out of something, and turned into something beautiful, meaningful, and valuable.  Without experiencing depression on a personal level, I would not be able to love hurting people.  Without going through self-doubt, I would not be a big cheerleader for people who follow their dreams.  Self-esteem issues pushed me to become the encourager I am today.  

I'm thankful for this promise from God to us:  Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."  It's because of the mess in our life that God can shine through and make something of each one of us.  There is freedom in admitting we don't have it all together and that sometimes our lives can be a hot mess.  Our mess is meant to be a testimony to someone else of the goodness and faithfulness of God.  Our mess is our message that shouts to the world that God can turn ashes into something beautiful.  He is always at work in us, friend.  Always, even in our biggest mess.

Broken and Mended

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday.  Join us, if you can.  You will be so encouraged by this brave community of writers who link arms every Friday to write for five minutes flat.  Today's word prompt is Glue.

Go.

I knew, when I saw the box, that my special wedding glasses were shattered.  We were getting married in 5 months, and I moved across the country from Texas to Massachusetts.  I moved all of my precious belongings, including these special Mickey and Minnie toasting glasses that the family I babysat for gave to me when I was still single, longing for a husband.  It wasn't that the glasses shattered that broke my heart, but all that they represented.  There was no way to repair them.

Those glasses were a metaphor for brokenness that was happening in my life.  A year earlier, I lost my best friend, unexpectedly.  I began to doubt and question God, and wondered why I was feeling the way I felt.  I couldn't really wrap my head around the things going on around me.  My aunt, who was more like a grandmother, had only passed away 4 months before she did, so the wound was still raw from missing her more than I ever thought I could miss anyone.

For years, I longed to see the goodness of God, but I couldn't see past my own brokenness, blinded by the shards of glass.  Broken people are like broken glass.  Sharp edges cut deep.  The saying is true that hurting people, hurt people.  I was broken, and was the center of my world.  I didn't want people too close, so I pushed old friends away and thought they were the selfish ones.  It took years for me to find new friends, and to allow the vulnerable places to show.  I could not have done that without Jesus at the center of it all.

Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.  Jesus, the Alpha and Omega, beginning and the end.  Jesus, the One and Only.  He is the Glue that mended those broken places for me.  I am still learning to be open and vulnerable in certain places, and He's still there with the glue of His love and word to mend those broken places.

end.

By All Means, Write

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday... a couple days late.  Would you click over to her page to learn about this beautiful community of writers who write their hearts out for five minutes every Friday (or Sunday in my case), and link up to encourage one another?  I believe you will be blessed to join us!


I stumbled upon this quote about two months ago, and started a post with just this quote on it.  Then, I got distracted and abandoned the post.  It has stuck with me, and I can't shake that it's meant for all of the arts, including writing.  There is such freedom in the knowledge that all artists struggle with the same voice of doubt in their ability to produce the very art that makes them breathe and come alive.  

“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

C.S. Lewis, Robert Louis Stevenson, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, and many other significant writers throughout history have woven together words that make our imaginations come to life...and then, there's me.  While I will never tell a story like the story tellers of yesterday, God put writing on my heart at an early age.

I remember around age 7, I would write songs of praise and worship to Him.  I once told my mom a poem that God put on my heart, and had no idea that she needed it right at that time.  I remember writing hundreds of letters of encouragement, poetry, journal entries, even a few English papers for some of my peers.  

Somewhere, somehow, I lost the confidence to call myself a writer, or to believe my story mattered.  I believe the voice within me saying "you cannot write".  There is power in our words.  The moment I start to speak those defeating words about myself, I start to live like I believe them.  Life and death flow off our tongues to inspire or breakdown the one who hears or reads our words.  

Speak to yourself words of life so that you can speak to others words of life.  Are you struggling to get the words out that seem buried deep within, to believe that you are a real writer?  I am so there with you, friend.  This has been a very quiet time for me in writing.  Let me encourage you to write something, even if just a word, a sentence, a paragraph.  By all means, write.  

Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you.  Let them bring grace and peace and let me always point others to Jesus and your steadfast love.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Mighty Moms

Four months after my second son was born, my oldest son started getting sick.  First he had what seemed like a cold, then pink eye, and then he couldn't walk.  Three hospitals and two weeks later, he was admitted into Texas Children's Hospital in Houston.  He was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome.  It was is so rare in children, that our physician said they usually only see one case every other month in the whole hospital.

This is 4 months post-partum.  4 months after raging hormones made it hard for me to transition from one to two children, though no one would know.  4 months and my own body started turning on me, like the woman with the issue of blood.  I fell into a pit of despair, while putting on the happy face for anyone I encountered.  The depression overwhelmed me and I felt really alone.  Not only that, but I couldn't imagine opening up to ANYONE about the depths of depression going on inside of me.  

It wasn't until 2 years later that God would lead a few women into my life for a season of healing.  I rarely get to see these women anymore, but they were instrumental in helping me understand that I was "normal".  That it was okay to talk about what I was feeling, and it was okay to talk to my doctor about it, too.  These were breakthrough moments for me.  I finally felt like I could see the light of the day.  I count myself blessed to have had mighty women around me to help me realize that I counted, I mattered, and that motherhood didn't change my value.

What if we all joined together, to link arms and hold up our sisters in their weaknesses?  What if, instead of hiding behind the changes our bodies, minds, and spirits go through during motherhood, we had women who have been there to hold our hands through it all?  What if, we see our sisters with littles and reach out a hand to help every now and then?  

On April 1st, our brave Five Minute Friday leader, Lisa-Jo Baker is due to deliver a new baby.  This baby is different though.  Her first book, "Surprised By Motherhood", will hit book stores and Amazon.  Might I encourage you to buy one of these books as your encouragement in motherhood?  Or, maybe you know a mom who could use a hand to hold while she navigates the waters of learning that they are mighty because they mother.       

Linking up again with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday.  We write brave for 5 minutes, without edits or backtracking or second guessing ourselves.  Then, we link up at Lisa-Jo's blog and encourage our hearts out to our sisters around us.  Please join us.  You'll be glad you did!

Joy is...

I'm linking up over at Lisa Jo Baker's blog for Five Minute Friday.  Each week we blog our hearts out for five minutes without editing ourselves and backtracking.  We link up over at Lisa Jo's place for community, encouragement, and blog love.  Please join us!  We'd love to hear your take on the word prompt.  Today's prompt is JOY.

I've been unsettled lately.  It's not a place I like to be, but it's where I am.  In the unsettling, I've found myself seeking Him, a deep need for more of Him.  For some reason, I'm stuck in Romans.  I'm finding myself in those words, in the depth of Paul's experience with Christ.  Praying the prayers that He prayed - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.  Romans 15:13.  

I am pouring my heart out in prayer with these scriptures believing God that He can fill me with all joy and peace.  That He is faithful to His word to complete it.  I'm not in state of depression or being down, just unsettled.  I can't find a better word to describe it.  But, I'm hopeful in His promise to keep me at peace and fill me with His joy.  

Joy, God's joy in us, is not just a state of happiness, it's peace.  Joy is trusting God through all things, in all things.  Joy is the knowing that, even in the midst of sad things, God will bring you through.  Joy is being filled with His Spirit day after day, being met right where you are.  Joy is loving Jesus when we're up or down.  His love supplies our joy.

Friends, I pray this prayer for you, too.  That you would also be filled with joy and peace.  That God's hope would be abundant in your life.  If you, like me, are in an unsettled state, let's take this time together to seek Him.  Maybe He's readying us for something, or maybe He's just bringing us to a place of deeper trust in Him, in His word, and in His promise.

End.

Making Room For One

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker today for Five Minute Friday.  Each Friday, this writing community links arms to write their hearts out on a word prompt, visit each other's pages and leave some blog love.  Would you join us this week?  Our word prompt is CROWD.  

Lamentations 3:21-25  "But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him."  The LORD is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him."

I'm a little socially awkward.  I get flustered in a crowd, although, I have no problem speaking to a crowd.  I get nervous and feel like I never say the right thing, or people can't hear what I'm saying.  I often try to be funny, but realize halfway through my story that I need to wrap it up.  If I'm at a party, you will likely find me near a wall with one or two other people, awkardly trying to figure out the right questions to ask to make conversation.  I like to develop deep, one on one relationships, and crave that type of relationship in my life.  This is who I am.  

I like to think that maybe I'm a little like Jesus.  He doesn't really like crowded hearts.  He has no problem speaking to my crowded heart, though I may not always hear Him clearly through the noise.  He's usually nudging me along with constant introspection and insight through the Holy Spirit, and He craves a deep one on one relationship with me.  That's who He is.

Noise is all around, and it vies for my hearts attention.  I make room for so much, but so sporadically make room for the One who seeks my hearts affection more than anything.  My heart becomes so over-crowded that I can barely hear Him speak.  He desires me more than any social media, more than tv, more than radio, more than my friendships, more than even my family.  He desires for me to know Him.  

I have to weed out my crowded heart and make room for One.  I have to learn to say "no" to the things reaching out for my attention that really have no room in my heart.  When I learn to say no to the noise, and yes to Jesus, it's not so crowded anymore.  I can clearly hear His voice and the leading of the Holy Spirit.  It's so easy to get drowned out in a crowd.  Let's drown out the crowd and let Jesus shine in us.

Will you join me and make room for One today?

I Choose Love

I'm linking up with Lisa Jo Baker and a couple hundred other bloggers again for Five Minute Friday.  The past few weeks, I've been writing my Friday post on Sunday.  I'm late, and I've been going over my five minutes.  I'm not usually a rule breaker, but things are stirring on the inside.  I would love for my blogging friends to join us at the link up every Friday.  You will be so encouraged by the community of writers there!  This week's word prompt is Choose.

It had been a long week.  Getting things ready for my sister's bridal shower with my mom on Friday was just a small thing on my task list.  I had a whole list of things on my mind about home things I needed to do as well.  While I was making my bed, the Holy Spirit spoke softly to my heart.  He said "Love wins.  Choose love."  There wasn't any turmoil going on in my life, so I didn't think of it as something I needed to correct my attitude in immediately.  

However, throughout the past week, there was a lot of political talk going on in our country about who we should serve and why our beliefs would dictate who we could serve.  I don't usually carry strong opinions on this matter, and I'm not very politically active.  You can boo me now if you'd like.  But, this thing I heard while making my bed stirred up something in me I didn't know I had.

I thought about Jesus, who is our ultimate example especially if we call ourselves followers of Christ.  Jesus, in all of the gospels, in all of the words written that were spoken by him, never ruffled the feathers of the sinners.  Instead, Jesus was really good at stirring up the religious elite (Pharisees), and sometimes even His own followers.  

Jesus wasn't out to condemn the sinner, but often shows that He had compassion for them.  I felt so convicted in this area of my life Friday.  I felt fired up, something I very rarely feel in my INFP/green/phlegmatic personality.  I'm typically laid back, easy going, so for me to get riled up, you must know that God is working on something in me.  

What if, as a church, we have it wrong when it comes to the sinner?  What if our call is not to choose to cast them aside, believing our own sin is without weight, but instead to offer them hope and show them love?  What if, as we call ourselves followers of Christ, we acted as such and acted as Jesus would if He was living in 2014?  I'm pretty sure He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  He would have compassion on people today just as He did 2000+ years ago.  

I believe that our call as a body is not to stir up and condemn the sinner, but to engage with them and show them His extravagant love that we so often talk about in our music and church services.  Do we even really know what that extravagant love looks like?  Merriam-Webster defines extravagant as "exceeding the limits of reason or necessity; lacking in moderation, balance and restraint."  That is HIS love for US!  For ALL of US!  Y'all, I know how much my Jesus loves me.  Why would I not want to share that LOVE to everyone?  Why would I want to hoard His love?  

I believe that it's time we choose love and lay down our weapons of words that pierce the already wounded and fall on deaf ears and blind eyes.  Instead of choosing to shut our doors to people who don't look like us, live like us or believe like us, let's open our doors and love them relentlessly.  Let the Holy Spirit do His work, because honestly, we can't.  Choose love, friends.  I choose love.

Jesus is in the small stuff

I'm a day late, but here is my Five Minute Friday post!  Today's word prompt is Small.

One November, when I was about 20, we had a very well known minister visit our church and talk about his recent work in Russia.  He was a stateside preacher, but did do a lot of missions work as well, and missions was my heartbeat.  While he was talking about his work in Russia, where he was distributing coats to people who badly needed them, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me, in a still small voice, to give my brand new coat to him at the end of the night for his next trip.  He wasn't asking for coats, and I didn't think I could even get close enough to him to give it to him.  

Let me backtrack a little here.  I was 20, in my first apartment, and barely making it.  I saved my money to buy this beautiful emerald green coat at a fancy store in town.  It cost me about $150 in 1993.  I was making about $5 an hour, so this coat was nearly a weeks wage for me.  To give this coat up would mean I'd freeze in our frigid Gulf Coast Texas air.  HA!  The bigger issue was that I thought it would be so insignificant and that really, who was I to approach this well known preacher to give my coat.  I thought surely he'll laugh and I'll be embarrassed.

Here's the kicker.  I didn't obey God.  It is the fist time I clearly remember saying "I can't do what you've asked me to do."  First, I felt too small, too insignificant to make a difference.  Second, I made God too small to make a difference through me.  

Jesus is in the small stuff, y'all.  He's in the big stuff, too.  Often times we get stuck in the small stuff thinking it doesn't compare to the big stuff.  But you know what?  It all matters.  We all matter.  YOU matter, and so do I.  Jesus wants to be in the middle of our small stuff just as much as He wants to be in the middle of our big stuff.  

He uses the small stuff to teach us big things about Him, about our Heavenly Father, and about the Grace that abounds.  Jesus often used parables and teachings about using examples of small things and how they make a big impact.  One example of the small thing becoming big was the Parable of the Mustard Seed.  

Matthew 13:32 "It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown it is larger than all the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”

I think of the gospel as a mustard seed.  It starts out small when we hear it, and as we grow in our knowledge of Christ, and in our faith, so that seed grows until it becomes a tree.  Then, when we have grown into spiritual trees, we offer shade and refuge to unbelievers with the hope that is in us.  

Don't despise small beginnings.  God wants to use us right where we are.  He'll use our small gift of $25 for the community center in Maubane, South Africa, and He'll use your smile toward a rude person, and He'll use our $5 McDonalds gift card to the homeless guy on the street corner, and He'll use our teaching moments as mothers, and He'll use us in the grocery store, at the bank or at the park.  He is waiting for us to just say YES.  Here I am, Lord.  Send me.  Use me.  Even when I feel insignificant and small, I trust you, and know you can use me.

I've gone over the five minutes this week.  I'm just really passionate about this.  Don't despise small beginnings, middles or ends.  There is so much more I wanted to write about this, but I want to end with a prayer today.

Father, Thank you.  Thank you for using us for your glory.  Thank you for showing us that we are not too small for you.  I pray that each person who reads this post will be encouraged to go all out for you whether you have opened the door for the big things or for the seemingly insignificant things.  I ask that you would put boldness in each one of us to trust that you are in the midst of our small stuff just as much as you are in the big stuff.  In Jesus Name, Amen.

*I still have that emerald green coat sitting in the back of my closet and have not worn it in over 15 years.  It's hard for me to admit that because I do very easily give things away.  I use that coat as a reminder to hold loosely, and listen closely.  God speaks softly most of the time.

Sowing on Good Ground

Five Minute Friday

When I was a teenager, I wanted to be a mom and wife more than anything else in the world.  I wanted to be a missionary wife and mom on top of that.  I wanted to have 7 kids, both naturally and adopted.  I thought I would open an orphanage in Russia and live as a missionary.  I had all these thoughts and plans for my life, but it wasn't the course God had for me.  At least not in the way I imagined.  

Sometimes God changes the course of our plans and directions to best suite HIS plan and purpose for our lives.  My 20 year old self would not have been ready for that kind of challenge.  I had no real idea of what it was like to be a mom, to run a non-profit, to face real adversity.  My non-Type A personality would have caved and drowned in the demands of all of that.

However, God has a way of meeting us right where we are to show us that those dreams were really from Him.  He has a way of bringing us full circle without having to do it our way.  Psalm 18:30 "This God—his way is perfect; the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him."  Is that great hope, or what?  His way is perfect, his word proves true.  Those dreams I had as a teenager, they are coming true today.

How?  Well, I've been blessed to be part of this wonderful blogging community over with Lisa Jo Baker.  Every Friday for the past year (at least for me it's been a year), I've joined up with this community to blog on a word prompt.  Today, we are joining arms to raise $150,000 for The Maubane Community Center in South Africa.  The goal is to raise this money from Valentine's Day through Mother's Day, and I believe we can make that happen.  

This is good ground to sow into.  In Matthew 13, Jesus told the parable of the sower.  I will be a witness and say that this is not thorny ground, or rocky ground.  The birds will not come and eat this seed up.  It won't get scorched because it is not deep.  No, this is deep ground.  This is good ground, ready to receive these blessings and do important work for the kingdom here.  

The definition for sow as defined by Merriam-Webster is "to scatter upon the earth for growth; to set in motion; to spread abroad".  I love that "set in motion".  Let's set this project in motion by our sowing.

The first phase of this project is for a community vegetable garden.  This is why we are "sowing" this time around.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to know that as you are feeding your children each night, you are also feeding 400 mouths in South Africa?  Let's work together and make this first phase a reality for these 250 orphans and 150 adults.  Would you consider this?  God has blessed us with an abundance.  We have everything we need at our disposal.  All He asks of us is to love Him and love our neighbors.  This is a great opportunity to do both.  You can click on the box to the right to donate to this first phase to bring food and hope to a community who needs us.  

Father, I thank you for this opportunity to serve you through giving.  Thank you for loving us and giving us the opportunity to love you in return and to show your love to others.  I ask that you would multiply these gifts and cause them to be more than enough.  Thank you for your promise that you can do exceeding, abundantly above all that we could ask or think, and I ask you to do that now.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Writing With Purpose

It's my favorite writing day of the week.  Five Minute Friday!  You can join us at Lisa Jo Baker's to learn more about it and link up with us.  We'd love to have you join us!  

Go.

Taking a break from blogging was the best and worst idea I had at the end of 2013.  The best idea because I needed to re-evaluate my "why", and the worst because I've had a hard time figuring that "why" out.  Just like exercise, when you take a break, it's hard to get back into the habit of writing regularly.  

I keep my journal, but it's mostly a prayer journal, and I don't write much about what God is working in me.  I also have my children's journals where I write their funny sayings, how much I love them, things I admired about what they did that day, etc.  

But my call, my passion is to write with purpose.  To encourage the hearts of women.  I am an encourager by nature, and gift, afterall.  I can remember the first song I ever wrote at the age of 7.  My mom talks about it all the time, and how much it ministered to her.  I had an 8th grade creative writing class in which I was the first time I realized that I really loved writing.  By the time I got to high school, I realized that I was pretty good at it.  

I don't want to lose sight of writing with purpose, because then it just becomes noise.  I want my words to mean something, and I want to be confident in writing them.  As Lisa Jo Baker said "The thing about writing is that at some point somebody’s going to want to read it. Let them." And, I hope to believe this down to my bones. That someone would want to read what I write. I am determined to be an open book and write with purpose.

Stop.

You Are A Hero

It's Five Minute Friday again!  Come join us in the link up party over at Lisa Jo Baker's.  There, you will find all the rules about how to play along with this beautiful community of writers.

Go.

"Mama, do you need super powers to be a superhero?"  My eight year old asked me as he watched a superhero movie.  In that split second, the word yes was on my mind, but I answered with a clear "no."  Why would a hero need to have superpowers?

"All heroes are shadows of Christ."  

John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

We are all heroes to someone.  Yes, even you, sitting there in your flannel jammies, eating yogurt, catching up on your blogs.  Each one of us is a hero in our own right.  Some of us never know who we inspire to chase dreams or do the impossible.  We may never know the people we cheer on along life's path, just by being ourselves.  

Sometimes, all we need to do is look down to see the little faces that see us as superheroes.  We may not wear a cape or have superpowers, but we are all superheroes in their little eyes.  We can slice up an apple and fill up a juice cup at the speed of light.  In those moments, we can clearly see our hero-ness.  

So, whether you never meet the person you are a hero for, or you see them daily, just go on being the hero that you are.  Go on, be confident in who you are, because you are a hero.  

Stop.

The Littlest Visitors

So, every Friday, we link up over at Lisa Jo Baker's place.  You can click the link here.  There, you will find a writing community like none other.  Every Friday is a time of encouragement and growth as a writer.  I hope you'll visit her website and link up with us!

Go. 

Most mornings, early before the sun rises, we get a visit from one or both of our boys.  As they crawl in, eyes not even open, they are looking for the safety and comfort of Mom or Dad.

One crawls in so stealth-like that we don't even notice he's there.  I may open my eyes at 4 in the morning and see him there and wonder if he's been there for 2 hours or 2 minutes.  He likes to get in close enough to know we are there, but not too close so he can be comfortable.  

The other is taller and a little more gangly.  He's bigger, so when he comes in around 6, we know who it is.  We make no mistake about it because he instantly digs his feet under one of our legs, grabbing a hand to cover him so he can hold my or Todd's pinky finger and rub it until he's fast asleep.  He's done this since he was 18 months old.  

I miss my sleep some nights, waking up unrefreshed and a little grouchy sometimes.  But, other days, I just lay there and stare at the wonder and beauty that are my children.  They need us, they want us, still.  Even after the yelling and fussing the night before, we are awake with new mercies given by them, and in return by us.  They find safety with us, and comfort from being next to us.  

So, even in my sleepiness, I appreciate the sweetness of my two little boys.  They've found their way back into my bed for another visit.  

All of this reminds me of God's willingness and desire to give us refuge when we need it, new mercies in the morning, safety and comfort.  He awaits our visit with Him today.  If you haven't had a visit with Him yet, will you pause with me to visit with Him?  

Stop.

He Loves You

I missed Five Minute Friday on Friday, so I'm a little late to the game.  So, the word prompt was Encouragement.  To get all the info on what this is all about, go visit Lisa Jo Baker's place and join us!

Go.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8(a) "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; itis not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  Love never ends."

You are loved.  You are loved with an everlasting love, a love that never ends.  The love that is described in 1 Corinthians 13, your Heavenly Father loves you in that way.  When you feel unlovable, you are still loved.  

Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."

God has a plan for you, even when you feel forgotten.  He has a plan for you.  He promises to use even the not so great stuff in your life for your good, and for His glory!  Romans 8:28.  He sees your yesterdays and knows your tomorrows.  He uses it all, loves through it all and works through it all.

The greatest love of all is that while we were still sinners, Christ died for our sins.  While we still did not love Him in return, He loved us anyway.  Friend, there is nothing, not one thing, that can separate you from His eternal love for you.  

You know what?  This is just as much for me as it is for you, friend.  I am an encourager, that is my nature, my spiritual gift.  But, sometimes the encourager needs to be encouraged.  So, I'm being encouraged by these words of life as I write them to the person reading them now.  Let's be encouraged together so we can be an encouragement together.

I pray that you are encouraged today to seek Him with your whole heart, to lean on Him through times of weakness, and to trust Him through times of darkness.  He loves you, yes, He does.

Stop.

Taste and See

It's baaaack!  Well, technically it was back last week, but I missed it completely.  Five Minute Friday time again, and I'm stepping in this week with a little hesitance.  We write for five minutes flat, no editing, no backtracking.  Just write.  You can check all the other bloggers out HERE.  Today's word prompt is SEE.

My first thought when I saw the word "see" was the word prompt was "Taste and see that the Lord is good."  Psalm 34:8  I've memorized scripture since I was 5 years old.  By the time I was a teenager, I could quote scripture better than I could any subject in school.  

I'm at a time in my life where I'm wondering what's next.  What's next, God?  That question is two-fold.  What's next for my life/my story, and what's going to happen next.  My father-in-law passed away a month ago, followed by my Aunt two weeks later.  In between, Christmas happened, and I mean, it just happened.  There really wasn't a celebration for what it was truly about.  It was just "let's get through this, and make sure the kids are happy" on my part.

I'm pushing back against depression, and it's hard to see that the Lord is good when you're eyes are blurry.  Vision gets skewed when you haven't spent time in His word.  I haven't.  It's hard to feel deep down inside that He's really in control, and it's all going to be okay.  It's like being stuck on the spin cycle in the washing machine, out of control.  

The rest of that scripture says "Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."  So, even if I'm not feeling like I can see what He's doing, where my place is, what's next, I will choose to take refuge in Him.  When I can't see these hard things as the Lord being good, I will put my trust in Him and take refuge in Him.  

This will put me a little over my 5 minutes, but I need it today.  Here is the definition of refuge:  shelter or protection from danger or distress; a place that provides shelter or protection.  When my vision becomes cloudy, I will find protection and shelter in Him.  I choose to run to Him.

Father, thank you for providing protection and shelter for me, even when I can't see you are there.  I thank you that you go deeper still.  Your love reaches deeper than any place I might go, or when I feel to far away to reach.  I will choose to taste and see that you are good, and I will put my trust in you.  In Jesus Name, Amen!