Bloom

It's been a while, but I'm finally linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker and the amazing Five Minute Friday community of bloggers with the word prompt BLOOM.  

I don't consider myself a "mommy" blogger.  It's not because I'm not a mom, because I am.  It's because, as a mom, I feel the most inadequate in all my roles in life.  I don't have creative ideas for road trips, or pinterest worthy ideas for getting the kids to obey and do chores.  

However, motherhood, has altered my life in so many wonderful and fulfilling ways.  Motherhood, in all it's triumphs and fears, in all the laughter and tears, in all the trials and victories, is where the most growth has happened in my life.  

For years, I looked to my mom and some of the ladies I grew up knowing as "second" mom's to me as being the ideal mothers.  They were the unattainable perfection for my unrealistic goals regarding being a mom. I held them on a pedestal, and now I understand where my admiration came from.

These ladies labored long and hard for years raising their children.  They went through the very growth that I am going through now.  God grew them spiritually through their natural work of motherhood.

I am a terrible gardener, and would consider myself a brown thumb.  

Something I've learned recently about growing a good plant that will bloom in it's season is this: it requires pruning.  Pruning is necessary to bring forth the harvest, the fruit, the full bloom.  God is in the business of pruning our broken, dead and overgrown areas of our lives so we can bloom into the gift He's called us to be - to bloom into the purpose for which He's called us. 

This is what wikipedia says about the purpose of pruning:  Reasons to prune plants include deadwood removal, shaping (by controlling or directing growth), improving or maintaining health, and both harvesting and increasing the yield or quality of flowers and fruits. 

God is working away in us, removing the dead parts, shaping us to direct our growth, and he's improving our spiritual health to increase the yield and quality of the fruits that we bear.  

Motherhood, is the place where I realize just how much of a sinner I am, and how far short of God's glory I fall.  But, when I look at those mature mothers, who are like strong, old oak trees, who have weathered the storms and still bloom with green leaves, when I look at them, I now understand the reason they bloom  is from the pruning through the early years.  

They are the perfect example of Psalm 92:14 (AMP) "[Growing in grace] they shall still bring forth fruit in old age..."

Let your roots dig deep into Him, for it's in deep roots that we will bloom.  Let's be determined to learn in this season of motherhood, and see where God wants to take us to bloom.  This is a season of pruning for me, and now I'm truly grateful for the growth that is taking place.

Mighty Moms

Four months after my second son was born, my oldest son started getting sick.  First he had what seemed like a cold, then pink eye, and then he couldn't walk.  Three hospitals and two weeks later, he was admitted into Texas Children's Hospital in Houston.  He was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome.  It was is so rare in children, that our physician said they usually only see one case every other month in the whole hospital.

This is 4 months post-partum.  4 months after raging hormones made it hard for me to transition from one to two children, though no one would know.  4 months and my own body started turning on me, like the woman with the issue of blood.  I fell into a pit of despair, while putting on the happy face for anyone I encountered.  The depression overwhelmed me and I felt really alone.  Not only that, but I couldn't imagine opening up to ANYONE about the depths of depression going on inside of me.  

It wasn't until 2 years later that God would lead a few women into my life for a season of healing.  I rarely get to see these women anymore, but they were instrumental in helping me understand that I was "normal".  That it was okay to talk about what I was feeling, and it was okay to talk to my doctor about it, too.  These were breakthrough moments for me.  I finally felt like I could see the light of the day.  I count myself blessed to have had mighty women around me to help me realize that I counted, I mattered, and that motherhood didn't change my value.

What if we all joined together, to link arms and hold up our sisters in their weaknesses?  What if, instead of hiding behind the changes our bodies, minds, and spirits go through during motherhood, we had women who have been there to hold our hands through it all?  What if, we see our sisters with littles and reach out a hand to help every now and then?  

On April 1st, our brave Five Minute Friday leader, Lisa-Jo Baker is due to deliver a new baby.  This baby is different though.  Her first book, "Surprised By Motherhood", will hit book stores and Amazon.  Might I encourage you to buy one of these books as your encouragement in motherhood?  Or, maybe you know a mom who could use a hand to hold while she navigates the waters of learning that they are mighty because they mother.       

Linking up again with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday.  We write brave for 5 minutes, without edits or backtracking or second guessing ourselves.  Then, we link up at Lisa-Jo's blog and encourage our hearts out to our sisters around us.  Please join us.  You'll be glad you did!

You Are A Hero

It's Five Minute Friday again!  Come join us in the link up party over at Lisa Jo Baker's.  There, you will find all the rules about how to play along with this beautiful community of writers.

Go.

"Mama, do you need super powers to be a superhero?"  My eight year old asked me as he watched a superhero movie.  In that split second, the word yes was on my mind, but I answered with a clear "no."  Why would a hero need to have superpowers?

"All heroes are shadows of Christ."  

John Piper, Don't Waste Your Life

We are all heroes to someone.  Yes, even you, sitting there in your flannel jammies, eating yogurt, catching up on your blogs.  Each one of us is a hero in our own right.  Some of us never know who we inspire to chase dreams or do the impossible.  We may never know the people we cheer on along life's path, just by being ourselves.  

Sometimes, all we need to do is look down to see the little faces that see us as superheroes.  We may not wear a cape or have superpowers, but we are all superheroes in their little eyes.  We can slice up an apple and fill up a juice cup at the speed of light.  In those moments, we can clearly see our hero-ness.  

So, whether you never meet the person you are a hero for, or you see them daily, just go on being the hero that you are.  Go on, be confident in who you are, because you are a hero.  

Stop.

The Littlest Visitors

So, every Friday, we link up over at Lisa Jo Baker's place.  You can click the link here.  There, you will find a writing community like none other.  Every Friday is a time of encouragement and growth as a writer.  I hope you'll visit her website and link up with us!

Go. 

Most mornings, early before the sun rises, we get a visit from one or both of our boys.  As they crawl in, eyes not even open, they are looking for the safety and comfort of Mom or Dad.

One crawls in so stealth-like that we don't even notice he's there.  I may open my eyes at 4 in the morning and see him there and wonder if he's been there for 2 hours or 2 minutes.  He likes to get in close enough to know we are there, but not too close so he can be comfortable.  

The other is taller and a little more gangly.  He's bigger, so when he comes in around 6, we know who it is.  We make no mistake about it because he instantly digs his feet under one of our legs, grabbing a hand to cover him so he can hold my or Todd's pinky finger and rub it until he's fast asleep.  He's done this since he was 18 months old.  

I miss my sleep some nights, waking up unrefreshed and a little grouchy sometimes.  But, other days, I just lay there and stare at the wonder and beauty that are my children.  They need us, they want us, still.  Even after the yelling and fussing the night before, we are awake with new mercies given by them, and in return by us.  They find safety with us, and comfort from being next to us.  

So, even in my sleepiness, I appreciate the sweetness of my two little boys.  They've found their way back into my bed for another visit.  

All of this reminds me of God's willingness and desire to give us refuge when we need it, new mercies in the morning, safety and comfort.  He awaits our visit with Him today.  If you haven't had a visit with Him yet, will you pause with me to visit with Him?  

Stop.

A Thankful Heart: For Luke

It's Five Minute Friday time!  Please join us at Lisa-Jo Baker's for the link up.  The word prompt today is "Fly".  

Go.

For my sweet Luke.  

Never forget that you were born to fly.  You were born with a destiny deep inside of you.  Above all else, God desires you.  He desires to give you wings to soar.

When the world wants to give you a label, I pray that you will rise up above that label and soar.  I pray that you will fly beyond your wildest hopes and dreams.  

When discouragement sets in, I pray that you will fly above your critics and rest in God's truth about you.  

When you feel stuck in a rut, dig your feet in, spread your wings and fly.  Fly with the wind and you will soar.  

Remember the day we walked around Poppa and Nana's property and this bird followed us.  He swooped down and flew straight back into the blue sky.  He was confident, secure, sure of where he belonged.  Remember that bird when you need to remember that you are confident, secure and sure of where you belong, my love.  You belong.  You are valued.

I am teaching you now to have wings so that one day, you will soar.

“The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.”  J.M. Barrie, The Little White Bird

Stop.

A Thankful Heart: Waiting

Our computer caught a virus last week, so I've been unable to write here, check email, catch up on Facebook and other things I like to do on the computer.  I have been able to use my phone, but it just isn't the same.  Honestly, I won't write an email on my phone because it takes too long. Plus, my phone is having it's own issues lately, so I feel a bit disconnected.  During this, my husband has worked long hours, and has come home to try to fix the computer issues.  All of our microsoft office is wiped out, and he's been trying to reinstall it.  It has been a long wait.

"...but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; 

they shall run and not be weary;

  they shall walk and not faint."  Isaiah 40:31

I was reminded of waiting this morning.  My 4 year old goes to preschool on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  Every morning, he runs up to the doors and swings it wide open and holds it until everyone he can see has entered.  Most mornings I rush him saying "that's enough" or "let's go" or "hurry".  It's usually because mommy has things to do, people to see, places to go because I'm just that "important".  

This morning, though, God quickened in my heart that I needed to learn from Jacob's servant heart.  Too often, I'm so caught up in my own little world that I can't see the world around me that needs more servants.  Jacob is naturally wild and funny, exuberant is probably a good word to describe this boy.  He loves fully and is the most confident little boy I know.  

I realized this morning that I am an instrument in the Father's hands as a mother.  He has given this child to me, not only for me to teach and train him, but also for me to learn and grow from watching him.  God's hand is on Jacob.  I don't want to be so busy moving and going that I get too impatient or just plain forget to wait.  Waiting is not just sitting around doing nothing.  Waiting is also serving.  The definition of wait is "to stay in place in expectation of" and "to serve".  My prayer is that my heart will lean toward waiting both in service and expectation.  

Father, thank you for lessons in our daily life.  Help us to keep our eyes open for you moving day to day all around us.  Help us to see where you are teaching and correcting us and to make the right changes in our own lives to live more fully in you.  Thank you for giving us new hope and renewal of expectation in you.  Thank you for giving me my children and for using them to teach me when I need to lean into you more.  I pray that you would create in me a clean heart, and renew the right spirit within me.  Thank you for loving me so much to give me a lively boy such as Jacob.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

For the Mom's of Boys

This is for the mom's of boys.  Those boys pull at our heartstrings, pull at that last straw, and pull out our laughter.  Those boys who have imagination beyond their years, who dream impossible dreams.  Those boys who fight and get dirty, who are loud and fun.  You are raising them, and you are doing something right.  When I see a mom of boys, I want to run up and give her a hug and let her know she's doing a great job, that she's not alone.  

This is to encourage you, Mama.  You, who are raising that boy who believes he's a superhero. 

That boy who believes he can fly, only to realize that gravity is real for him after his lip gets busted.

Jacob after busting his lip.  Tried to fly from one headboard to another.

For the mom of a boy who takes life a little too seriously for his tender age.  Who has perfection written on his heart and mind and strives to achieve that a little too much.  

That boy who is smarter than you are, who believes he will invent the greatest inventions ever. He can sit for hours creating and imagining.  He believes if he can imagine it, he can create it.

You are raising them to believe the impossible is possible.  You allow him to believe he can do anything.  You are doing a fine job, Mama.  So, when those days come when it seems like everyone has forgotten how to behave, or how to speak kindly, remember, on those days, that you are the mom of a boy!  When those days seem to drag on, and feel like they will never end, you are raising the next generation of men.  When you feel like you are just one more mess away from losing your mind, remember that they love you.  They love you despite your imperfections, insecurities and failures.  They will remember how their Mama loved them, and held them.  How she played with them, sang to them, read to them, hugged them, prayed for them and yes, even yelled at them.  They will remember it all.  

So, hold them a little longer for they are only little for a short time.  Let them make their messes and mistakes, and be present when they come running to you for help.  You are teaching them that we learn from our failures and successes equally.  You are teaching them they are loved even when they fail; showing them the same grace that God has shown toward you.  

It's not always easy or "fun" to be a mom of a boy.  Sometimes they believe they are the next generation of wrestlers and like to fight all day long.  Sometimes they are stubborn and strong-willed, and it takes skill to navigate those territories.  It takes trial and error, and sometimes the help of women who have been there.  Sometimes, we just need the help of a mentor, even the mom's who seem to "have it all together".  These are the things I am learning, and I'm learning more each day.  My boys are sweet AND sour.  We have good days AND bad days.  But I believe the sweet outweigh the sour and the good overtake the bad.  

Be encouraged, mom of boys.  You are not alone.  You are doing a great job.  You ARE a superhero in their eyes, and in mine, too.  Today, I honor you and hold you in high esteem as you navigate these waters of motherhood to boys.  I pray that you will be blessed each day of their little lives, and even into their adult years.  I pray that you are given the wisdom, knowledge and understanding needed to raise confident, peaceful and strong young men.  I believe you have the power to do that.  

This was a poem I found from when I was in Kindergarten.  My Sunday School class made them with our handprints for our parents.  I don't know who the author is, but I wanted to close this post out with this poem:

A Little Fellow Follows Me

A careful man I want to be, a little fellow follows me
I do not dare to go astray, for fear he'll go the self-same way
I cannot once escape his eyes, whate'er he sees me do he tries
Like me, he says he's going to be, the little chap who follows me
He thinks that I am good and fine, believes in every word of mine
The base in me, he must not see, that little fellow who follows me
I must remember as I go, through summer's sun and winter's snow
I am building for the years to be, in the little chap who follows me

Old Rhyme

What are little boys made of?

What are little boys made of?

Slugs and snails

And puppy-dogs' tails,

That's what little boys are made of.

Fan into flame the gift of God in you

This week started off very discouraging for me.  Sunday night, I broke down and literally felt like I was losing all sanity!  I was speaking in circles and couldn't make a clear thought come out.  I love my boys, but they are, well, BOYS.  They are perfectly funny, active, sweet, active, loving, active, tenderhearted and active boys.  Notice I said active?  By the time bedtime rolled around Sunday night, I was spent.  My two year old, who has taken to jumping off his brother's bed face first, had said "no" and "stupid" one too many times.  My five year old was caught between laughing at what he considers his brother's "funny" antics, and listening to me.  Brother's funny stuff beat my directions.  It does every time.  After a couple of minutes of hearing me stressing out, my tag team partner came up and gave me the relief I needed.  I think it took me a couple of hours to come down from the adrenaline rush I was on...  Motherhood has made me realize that I'm not as unselfish as I once thought I was.  I like "me" time, and I love quiet time.   Thank God for loving, compassionate, on-time husbands!

That was the first day of the week!  I started meditating on 2 Timothy that night.  Our bible study group is starting a study on this book, and I'm familiar with it since I grew up in church and have done lots of studies on the ministry of Paul.  As I've said in earlier posts, I've felt stagnant in my relationship with God recently.  However, knowing that we were getting into 2 Timothy, I knew of one verse that was going to stick out to me, and boy has it!  In 2 Timothy 1:6, Paul instructs Timothy "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands."  When I read this, it instantly jumped out at me.  I've read it many times before.  The awesome thing about God's word is that it never changes, yet there is always something new to learn no matter how many times you read it.  There is always new revelation, greater growth and change.  Interesting dynamic! 

Our group did a short study on gifts at the end of our first year together.  I have seen gifts in my own life, during my walk with God.  I have operated freely in the gifts of exhortation, wisdom, faith, giving and mercy.  Some are stronger than others, but those are what I see most in my life.  I haven't used most of those gifts regularly in the past 10 years.  I've had moments of great faith or great wisdom, but have not pursued that.  I am feeling re energized to fan into flame those gifts!  James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."  I pray that I have wisdom in every aspect of my life, but especially in using the gifts God has blessed me with at the right time, with the right people.  As a mom of boys, I need to be able to put that gift of mercy to use...daily!  I need the gift of wisdom to know how to answer my boys with confidence, and with the Word. 

When I think of fanning into flame, I think of a fire that is dying out, and you have to lightly blow on it or fan it to cause it to flame up again.  When we spend time with the Lord, we are just getting breathed on by Him, He's fanning us so that we grow hotter and hotter for Him.  WOW!  That's an awesome visual!  I am fanning the flame with God's word, prayer, quiet time to meditate on what God is saying to me, and writing!  Let me encourage you to fan into flame those gifts in you, too.  What if we all operated in our gifts all the time!?!  Could you imagine what we could get done for the Lord?  If you're stagnant like I've been, or you just feel complacent, turn off your computer and spend a few minutes talking to your Father.  Read what He says in His word to find some direction or peace.  Fan into flame the gift that is in you!  Stir it up!