Living Through The Hard Seasons

From the outside looking in, I've got it pretty good.  I have a husband who adores me.  I have two boys who are tenderhearted toward me.  I live in the suburbs, drive a minivan, and I get to be a stay at home mom. 

These are the things I would have given anything for just 15 years ago.  All I wanted was to be married and be a stay at home mom.  I imagined it all.  I dreamed it all.  And now, now it's reality.  And, I struggle.  I struggle with depression and self-worth.  I struggle with comparison and figuring out my place in this crazy world.  I struggle with trusting God completely.    

Here's the thing, friend.  In my moments of struggle, I always know He is working in me, using my mess as a witness.  Even when my vision is clouded over like the morning fog, I know He is there guiding me through it.  In those dark moments when I feel furthest from Him, He is drawing me closer to Him.  

I can almost always attribute the "depression seasons" to times where I have not spent time in worship, in the Word, or in prayer.  All of them are essential in my walk with Him to live more fully.  Though I try to replace those essentials with blogs, books and devotions, they are good and have a place, they can not replace HIM.  They can't take the place of His Word.  

So, here I am two weeks into the new year, and all I can think about is my One Word - LIVE.  I have done anything but that over the past two weeks.  I've found my hiding place, and it's snug and no one else is there.  I can hide away from the rest of the world there.  I have shirked my responsibility in my home.  I've put off doing anything until I can "get myself together".  I'm such a mess.  

The song You Alone Can Rescue by Matt Redman has been on my heart this morning.  I'm hoping in Him, and I'm lifting up my eyes to the giver of life.  I can't LIVE this year without more of Him.  As I sing this praise to Him, I find that life, His life in me, is being restored to me.  Depression leaves as I enter into His presence, and I'm made whole in Him.  

All of my worries and anxieties are put into a bag and laid before His feet.  I will choose to take on His yoke, for it is easy, and light.  In Him, I will find rest for my soul in the midst of unrest, and peace where chaos wants to invade.  

Let me encourage you to do the same.  Do you have areas where you struggle consistently?  Do you find power and release in times of worship, prayer and time in His Word?  Walk with me, friend, and let's dig deep into Him.  Let's find our place in Him together.  If you feel like you are without words to pray, pray this prayer with me.

Thank you, Father, for loving me through my mess, through my brokenness.  Thank you for the wisdom and peace you give to us as we ask you for them.  I ask for wisdom and peace in every area of my life.  I pray that you will continue to guide my steps, and that they are ordered by you.  Father, I thank you that I know your voice, and the voice of a stranger I'll not follow.  To you, alone, belongs the highest praise.  You are the giver of life, and I know that fully, Lord.  Let me find my full life in you alone!  Father, thank you for using each season of my life for your glory.  I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  In Jesus Name, Amen!


I'm linking up with Crystal Stine today over at Behind the Scenes.  Come join us!

A Thankful Heart: Day 29 - Pressing In

There are days that I would rather hide under my covers than to do anything else.  On those days, such as today, I have to press through and press in to God.  I made a choice today that while my kids were at school, I would turn up my worship music as loud as I could and fill the house with worship to my loving Father.  It's not always easy to do this, but that's why it is the "sacrifice of praise" that pleases God.  

Hebrews 13:15 "Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name."

If you are feeling down or lonely or moody or whatever, let me invite you to open God's word, have a seat for a while and enter into His presence.  Set the mood in your home, in your heart to welcome Him in like you would a good friend.  Let His presence take over whatever may be on your mind bringing you down, let His great love for you flood your heart as you sit with Him for a moment.  I can attest that it will change the direction of your day. 

Be encouraged, friend.  God sees, He knows, and He understands whatever you are going through.  He loves you with an everlasting love and longs to show you His great love for you.  Press in.  Here is some encouragement to do just that:

Philippians 3:12-16 "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. 16 Only let us hold true to what we have attained."

Praise God!  He wants to reveal to us things about our future.  Let's press in to Him, toward the goal set before us, to lead people to Him.  Let's take our eyes off ourselves and look to Him, who gives us all hope.  

Father, we look to you today.  You are our future, our hope, our everything.  We love you and honor you today.  Thank you for loving us through our weaknesses, for giving us the tools we need to live fully for you.  Father, we make a choice to press in today, to seek you with our whole hearts.  We invite you in to our living room, our bedroom, our workplace, wherever we are, you are welcome.  Open our eyes, God, to know you more, to come to a deeper understanding of your love for us.  Help us to take our eyes off ourselves and put them squarely on you, God.  Thank you for setting us free from the things that easily get us off track!  We bring the sacrifice of praise to you, today, Lord!  Praise you, Father God!  In Jesus Name, Amen!