This week started off very discouraging for me. Sunday night, I broke down and literally felt like I was losing all sanity! I was speaking in circles and couldn't make a clear thought come out. I love my boys, but they are, well, BOYS. They are perfectly funny, active, sweet, active, loving, active, tenderhearted and active boys. Notice I said active? By the time bedtime rolled around Sunday night, I was spent. My two year old, who has taken to jumping off his brother's bed face first, had said "no" and "stupid" one too many times. My five year old was caught between laughing at what he considers his brother's "funny" antics, and listening to me. Brother's funny stuff beat my directions. It does every time. After a couple of minutes of hearing me stressing out, my tag team partner came up and gave me the relief I needed. I think it took me a couple of hours to come down from the adrenaline rush I was on... Motherhood has made me realize that I'm not as unselfish as I once thought I was. I like "me" time, and I love quiet time. Thank God for loving, compassionate, on-time husbands!
That was the first day of the week! I started meditating on 2 Timothy that night. Our bible study group is starting a study on this book, and I'm familiar with it since I grew up in church and have done lots of studies on the ministry of Paul. As I've said in earlier posts, I've felt stagnant in my relationship with God recently. However, knowing that we were getting into 2 Timothy, I knew of one verse that was going to stick out to me, and boy has it! In 2 Timothy 1:6, Paul instructs Timothy "For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands." When I read this, it instantly jumped out at me. I've read it many times before. The awesome thing about God's word is that it never changes, yet there is always something new to learn no matter how many times you read it. There is always new revelation, greater growth and change. Interesting dynamic!
Our group did a short study on gifts at the end of our first year together. I have seen gifts in my own life, during my walk with God. I have operated freely in the gifts of exhortation, wisdom, faith, giving and mercy. Some are stronger than others, but those are what I see most in my life. I haven't used most of those gifts regularly in the past 10 years. I've had moments of great faith or great wisdom, but have not pursued that. I am feeling re energized to fan into flame those gifts! James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." I pray that I have wisdom in every aspect of my life, but especially in using the gifts God has blessed me with at the right time, with the right people. As a mom of boys, I need to be able to put that gift of mercy to use...daily! I need the gift of wisdom to know how to answer my boys with confidence, and with the Word.
When I think of fanning into flame, I think of a fire that is dying out, and you have to lightly blow on it or fan it to cause it to flame up again. When we spend time with the Lord, we are just getting breathed on by Him, He's fanning us so that we grow hotter and hotter for Him. WOW! That's an awesome visual! I am fanning the flame with God's word, prayer, quiet time to meditate on what God is saying to me, and writing! Let me encourage you to fan into flame those gifts in you, too. What if we all operated in our gifts all the time!?! Could you imagine what we could get done for the Lord? If you're stagnant like I've been, or you just feel complacent, turn off your computer and spend a few minutes talking to your Father. Read what He says in His word to find some direction or peace. Fan into flame the gift that is in you! Stir it up!
LOVE IT!
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