When I was young, early 20's probably, I would write out the names of the 7 kids I wanted. Yes, SEVEN! I desired to have a large family, live on the mission field somewhere and have the perfect life. I was going to be the perfect mom, wife, friend, daughter, etc. Perfect, perfect, perfect.
My early 20's were consumed with finding the right guy. I didn't really date because I thought dating was useless unless I knew that he was the guy I'd marry. Can we just say much of my early 20's were spent in great frustration? Trying to figure out my place in the world, what I wanted in a guy, and absolutely no compromising on my list of "must haves" in the perfect man.
I'm kind of glad it worked out that way. I think I might have settled a lot sooner for less than God had for me. No, I KNOW I would have settled a lot sooner. I can't tell you how many times I just asked God to send me the right guy. Every big event my church held would bring in ministers from all over, and I just hoped and prayed that "he" would come then. Seeking. Frustrated. Waiting.
I would say that until age 26, I wished most of my time away. I wished I was already married with kids, living in some remote part of the world. Then, a crazy thing happened on the way to what God had for me. My best friend passed away unexpectedly. It devastated me. It made me question all that I believed in. It made me take a good look and truly understand what I believed and why I believed it. It was no longer my parents gospel, but it had to become my own. I went through several months of living on the "edge". I kind of laugh at that now because living on the edge to me wasn't what most people would call living on the edge. HA! I was just rebelling, not going to church, listening to secular music, pretty much doing whatever I felt like doing.
I started going to Lakewood Church late that summer, just after my 27th birthday. I know so many people with conflicting opinions on Lakewood, so I'll just say that, for me, it was a place of healing. It was a time of understanding God's great love and grace for us, and learning that I didn't need a list of "perfect" things to have the perfect life. It was a time of sweet fellowship with God, and a renewal of my spirit. It was during this time that I looked at my list of perfect traits that my future husband must have and realizing that most of that list was superficial. All I really wanted was a man that loved God.
Enter Todd. We met online in January of that year, though our writings were few and far between. We were really just casual acquaintances. Mostly it was the distance between us. He in Massachusetts, I in Houston, TX. However, that September, we started writing more frequently, sharing more details about our lives. He was a member of a Southern Baptist church and had only been a christian a few years. I was a member of a spirit filled/charismatic church and had been a christian since I could talk. LOL!
I didn't really give him a chance when we first started talking that January because I felt that he was not "perfect" enough. He didn't meet my list. But, what I learned about him when we started talking more, getting to know each other is this; he loved God. He knew more about the bible than I did, and that is sad, but true. I knew lots of individual scriptures, but I didn't understand how they fit into the full story. We spent the next five months (Sept-Jan) writing pages long emails, talking 2-4 hours a night on the phone, and, basically, falling in love.
In January 2001, Todd sent me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I had ever seen. I literally had to have one of the guys I worked with carry it to my car because it was so heavy. He didn't know it, but he had included my most favorite flower in the bunch, and there were LOTS of them. Stargazer Lily by the way. When I got home, my mom just gushed over them and couldn't believe how beautiful they were. That night, I booked a flight to Boston, MA to meet this guy that I couldn't stop talking to, sharing my entire life with 2000+ miles away. I flew in on February 15 (his birthday is February 18, so it was a birthday present/meet this guy gift). He came to TX one month later and we were engaged on March 15. I moved to Cape Cod the first week of May and we married on September 15, 2001 (another post on that later).
All I can say is this, we make lots of plans for our lives, and think we know what is "perfect". All along, God is there waiting for us to submit our plans for our lives to Him and let Him write the story for us. Proverbs 19:21 - Many are the plans in a man's heart, but the Lord's purpose will prevail.
Heavenly Father, thank you for writing my story. Thank you for leading Todd and I together at the perfect time. You are the author and finisher of my faith. I pray that your purpose is revealed to me. I ask, God, that you would reveal yourself to me each day, and that each day I would fully understand your blessings and workings. I praise you today, and I thank you for the gifts you have given me.
Side note: This is not at all what I intended to write about, but it is what flowed out today.
