Broken and Mended

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday.  Join us, if you can.  You will be so encouraged by this brave community of writers who link arms every Friday to write for five minutes flat.  Today's word prompt is Glue.

Go.

I knew, when I saw the box, that my special wedding glasses were shattered.  We were getting married in 5 months, and I moved across the country from Texas to Massachusetts.  I moved all of my precious belongings, including these special Mickey and Minnie toasting glasses that the family I babysat for gave to me when I was still single, longing for a husband.  It wasn't that the glasses shattered that broke my heart, but all that they represented.  There was no way to repair them.

Those glasses were a metaphor for brokenness that was happening in my life.  A year earlier, I lost my best friend, unexpectedly.  I began to doubt and question God, and wondered why I was feeling the way I felt.  I couldn't really wrap my head around the things going on around me.  My aunt, who was more like a grandmother, had only passed away 4 months before she did, so the wound was still raw from missing her more than I ever thought I could miss anyone.

For years, I longed to see the goodness of God, but I couldn't see past my own brokenness, blinded by the shards of glass.  Broken people are like broken glass.  Sharp edges cut deep.  The saying is true that hurting people, hurt people.  I was broken, and was the center of my world.  I didn't want people too close, so I pushed old friends away and thought they were the selfish ones.  It took years for me to find new friends, and to allow the vulnerable places to show.  I could not have done that without Jesus at the center of it all.

Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.  Jesus, the Alpha and Omega, beginning and the end.  Jesus, the One and Only.  He is the Glue that mended those broken places for me.  I am still learning to be open and vulnerable in certain places, and He's still there with the glue of His love and word to mend those broken places.

end.

Faithful and True

It's a quiet Thursday morning.  There is only about a month left of preschool for my youngest, and these quiet Thursday mornings will turn into a symphony of laughter, excitement, and maybe a little yelling.  He's boisterous, that one.  More on him later.  For now, I write.

When I started this blog 3 years ago, I intended it to be a journal of sorts.  I had a few friends who "followed" me, but not many really read it.  So, I felt free to write about everything.  These friends knew my struggles anyway, so it wasn't news to them.  Over time, it has evolved into something I love doing, and though I may not have hundreds of daily readers, I believe God has called me to it.  

I was trying to come up with some catchy title for my blog, but couldn't think of anything.  I ended up with God is always working in us because I thought about the "Experiencing God" bible study that Todd and I did together.  The ONLY bible study we've done together in 12 years of marriage, sadly.  However, in that study, the thing that struck me most was a part that talked about how God is always working in us, and God reminded me of that when I was trying to come up with a name.  

The point of all this is that lately I've been distant from God.  Not really pursuing Him, at the same time believing He is near and has me quiet for a season.  I don't know if the flood gates are about to open, but I do know that He is working in this quiet season.  He is ALWAYS working in us, even when it feels like we are all alone.  When we are on the mountaintop or the valley's, He's right there working in us.

I don't know who came up with this illustration, but I love it!  I mean, I want it plastered on my walls.  See, I grew up believing the opposite was true.  I believed that God's plan was perfect, straight and had no detours.  I believed that my faith was lacking if I went through a trial, and that for some reason, I might even be in sin if I was walking through a valley.  Tell someone who struggles with self-worth, depression and insecurity that they are in sin, and it just exasperates the issue.  

Instead, over the years, God has been so faithful and true to His word.  He loves me through it all.  His grace IS sufficient for me.  There is purpose in our pain, there is purpose in our suffering, and in our race to the finish line, these things produce character and hope in us.

Romans 5:3-4 "Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope"

So, now I can look at a picture like this and see how God has shaped the ups and downs in my life to produce character in me, to give me hope in Him, to know He is continually working on my behalf.  He loves us, friends.  He loves us so much that He has a plan and a purpose for our lives.  He desires to walk with us through the valleys just as much as He is with us in our mountaintop experiences.  Our greatest growth in Him usually takes place in the valley's.  It's through these experiences that He shows His faithfulness in the most intimate ways.

Let me encourage you to find your hope in Him.  I am finding mine in Him.  Let me encourage you, also, that you are not alone.  We all go through ups and downs in life.  Jesus said we would walk through things that wouldn't be fun.  But, we can have confidence that He is faithful to watch over His word and to perform it, and He is the way, truth and life.  He is always faithful and true.  

Do you believe God has a plan for you?  Do you believe you have purpose?  What do you know God has purposed for you to do in life?  

By All Means, Write

Linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for Five Minute Friday... a couple days late.  Would you click over to her page to learn about this beautiful community of writers who write their hearts out for five minutes every Friday (or Sunday in my case), and link up to encourage one another?  I believe you will be blessed to join us!


I stumbled upon this quote about two months ago, and started a post with just this quote on it.  Then, I got distracted and abandoned the post.  It has stuck with me, and I can't shake that it's meant for all of the arts, including writing.  There is such freedom in the knowledge that all artists struggle with the same voice of doubt in their ability to produce the very art that makes them breathe and come alive.  

“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

C.S. Lewis, Robert Louis Stevenson, Emily Dickinson, Jane Austen, and many other significant writers throughout history have woven together words that make our imaginations come to life...and then, there's me.  While I will never tell a story like the story tellers of yesterday, God put writing on my heart at an early age.

I remember around age 7, I would write songs of praise and worship to Him.  I once told my mom a poem that God put on my heart, and had no idea that she needed it right at that time.  I remember writing hundreds of letters of encouragement, poetry, journal entries, even a few English papers for some of my peers.  

Somewhere, somehow, I lost the confidence to call myself a writer, or to believe my story mattered.  I believe the voice within me saying "you cannot write".  There is power in our words.  The moment I start to speak those defeating words about myself, I start to live like I believe them.  Life and death flow off our tongues to inspire or breakdown the one who hears or reads our words.  

Speak to yourself words of life so that you can speak to others words of life.  Are you struggling to get the words out that seem buried deep within, to believe that you are a real writer?  I am so there with you, friend.  This has been a very quiet time for me in writing.  Let me encourage you to write something, even if just a word, a sentence, a paragraph.  By all means, write.  

Lord, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you.  Let them bring grace and peace and let me always point others to Jesus and your steadfast love.  In Jesus Name, Amen!