The Pharisee in Me

Yes, I'll admit that I didn't want to say it out loud, but I knew that God was breaking through in my life.  I knew that He wanted to breakthrough for many of us.  I've come to a place of brokenness, not out of sheer will, but out of complete surrender.  When God starts to show you that you've been living a Pharisee life, it's going to hurt.  

It came to a head this weekend when I was telling my husband about how everyone else was doing it wrong, but I had everything right in my own heart and head.  I mean, I know the word, so I must know that following the "rules" is what Jesus would have me do.  All Todd had to do was to ask a couple of simple questions, and the Holy Spirit pierced my heart and opened my eyes.

About a month ago, out of the blue, I started singing a song I learned at Christian summer camp in 1987. I thought it was called the "goat song".  So, I googled it (isn't technology a wonderful thing?), and I found it!  I seriously thought that the guy who spoke at our camp was the one who made it up.  I put the song in at the bottom of this post.  Anyway, as God often does, He started pointing out to me that I was a Pharisee.  ME!  I know, I was shocked, too.  ;)  

Really though, being raised in church, I truly believed that even with grace, I needed to follow the rules, listen to other people who follow the rules, and generally look down on people who don't. This has been an Achilles heal for me for a long time.  The reality is that I was standing up high, looking at people as though they were below me, as a Pharisee.  The Pharisees were full of pride - the look at me, I'm doing it right kind of folk.  Sadly, my heart has been full of pride.  They were polished on the outside, but dirty on the inside.  So I have been.  

Sometimes finding out the truth hurts.  It reveals the ugly deep within that we try to mask over with pretty words.  But, God is so gracious to us.  Even though the truth can hurt us, it also sets us free.  John 8:32 "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  Jesus is truth and life for us.  He sets us free from the sins that enslave us.  

God has been faithfully chipping away at some outer layers of my hard heart that I've allowed to grow up and take root.  I am a work in progress, and there is MUCH more to what God is doing in me right now.  I feel breakthrough around the corner, and I know what has held me back from breaking through earlier has been my hard heart toward the things of God, being full of pride, and believing that I had it all together all while feeling restless and hopeless.

Let me encourage you to pray the prayer I prayed if you feel that God is revealing a Pharisee heart in you.  Psalm 51:10-12 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit."  Thank you for hearing our prayer and restoring us to you, Father!  In Jesus Name, Amen!

I'm sure there will be updates to this blog post coming.  I have only touched on a tiny part of what God is doing in me, and showing me through his word about having a hard heart, living a pharisee life and following hard after Him.

Here is the link to the song.

Five Minute Friday: Broken

It's Five Minute Friday, and I haven't written anything since the last one.  This week has flown by!  Here is goes:

Broken.

I love the Psalms.  One of my favorite Psalm is Chapter 51.  This is a Psalm that David wrote when he was confronted about Bathsheba.  He sinned.  He was separated from God, but He knew God's mercy well.  After appealing to God's mercy, he asked God to create in him a clean heart and renew the right spirit within him (verse 10).  

This whole passage is rich in brokenness.  Verse 16 &17 say it well:  Going through the motions doesn’t please you, a flawless performance is nothing to you. I learned God-worship when my pride was shattered.  Heart-shattered lives ready for love don’t for a moment escape God’s notice.  (from the Message bible)

I particularly like this version of these verses.  Though the Message bible is not my go-to source for bible study, I find it helpful in illustrating the Word.  

The English Standard Version (my regular bible) says it like this: For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.

What I love about this passage of scripture is that David, one of the most influential people of the bible, one of the most recognized names in biblical history, was like us.  He sinned, recognized he was separated from God, and came to him with the sacrifice of a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart.  

I have always said I most relate to King David because he was all over the place in his faith.  Highs and lows.  I understand that.  But, I also understand that He was "a man after God's own heart".  I can't tell you how many times I find myself broken, feeling shattered by the weight of my sin, by the jealousy, envy and strife that continually pop their heads up in my life.  But, I can say that every time I come to him broken, he restores me.  I don't look beautiful and whole without cracks on the outside, but I know that I am beautiful, whole and without cracks in my heart.  He mends the broken places, if we will lay them down at his feet.

Let me encourage you to do that today.  Whether you've never laid your life down at his feet, or you've done it a thousand times.  Do it again today.  I know I am.  

Father, I come before you, broken.  I know you make beautiful things from brokenness.  I repent for the things that keep me from walking in unity with you, God.  I repent for the sins that go against you, your character and your love for others.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.  Thank you, Father, for loving me and mending those broken areas of my life.  I praise you, for you are good.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Five Minute Friday - BELONG

Each Friday, Lisa-Jo Baker prompts bloggers all around with a word.  The goal is to have everyone write for 5 minutes flat, no edits.  This week's word is belong.  Ready.  Set.  GO!

I have not participated in 5 minute Friday for a while.  It's not that I haven't wanted to, but really that my heart felt empty and I had no words to write for the word prompt.  Recently, that drought has felt the cleansing rain of the Holy Spirit working.

This word, belong, is such a powerful word to me.  There is something comforting about knowing you belong somewhere.  There is peace in knowing that.  For quite some time, I have felt out of touch, and really that I did not belong anywhere.  Almost as if there just wasn't a place for me.  My parents moved away, so the one place I did belong is no longer there.  My friendships changed over the course of a year, and that has left me feeling empty.  

However, God is faithful.  He is the One place where I belong.  Quite frankly, He welcomes everyone with open arms, waiting to fulfill their need to belong somewhere.  His amazing grace sees us through life's ups and downs, changes and steady times.  I can not imagine my life without Him.  He says I belong to Him.  I am His child.  

I realized this morning, when I got the prompt, that this is where I belong.  Writing with a community of bloggers, who also love to write.  Believing that we are some sort of family who has never met.  I love that!

Stop!

Fruits and Virtues

I was going through some of my old FB posts today, and I stumbled upon this note that I wrote back in 2010.  It feels so appropriate for today, especially since my small group just finished reading "The Fitting Room" by Kelly Minter.  It is an excellent book lining out the virtues of Christ found in Colossians 3.  

God is ALWAYS at work in us!  Philippians 2:13 - For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. (NLT)   Thank God that He is able to use all of our life experiences for His glory and to bring us to a better understanding of Him and our need for His grace through Jesus Christ.

When I have been angry with someone, thank you God that you are working in me, LOVE.  When I have been depressed, thank you God that you are working in me, JOY.  When I let the weight of the world get to me, thank you God that you are working in me, PEACE.  When I have lost my temper from sitting in traffic, thank you God that you are working in me, PATIENCE.  When someone is being less than kind to... me, thank you God that you are working in me, KINDNESS.  When I'm feeling grateful for your blessings, thank you God that you are working in me, GOODNESS.  When I don't feel like going or doing, thank you for working in me, FAITHFULNESS.  When I feel like lashing out, thank you for working in me, GENTLENESS.  When I hit the chocolate drawer after complaining about not losing weight, thank you for working in me, SELF CONTROL.

I want to remind myself of this daily!  Though we may not always recognize our weaknesses as God working in us, we know that all things work together for our good for those who love God.  We also know that He is always working in us, even in our times of weakness.  So, those times when I'm feeling insecure, useless, unworthy, or whatever does not line up with what God says about me, I can be sure that he is working in me to bring me into alignment with His will, His fruits and His gifts.  

The scripture promise I am leaning on today is Romans 11:29 (MSG) - God’s gifts and God’s call are under full warranty—never canceled, never rescinded.  I am so thankful that God doesn't change His mind when I drop the ball and forget my identity in Christ.  

Thank you, Father, for continually working in me, even in times when I don't "see" the fruit.  I praise you, God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, even in my weaknesses.  I praise you for who you are, and for the love you give to me each day.  Thank you for the cross, for the blood of Jesus that covers a multitude of sins.  You are so good to me, and I love you, Lord!  In Jesus Name, Amen! 

Promises, promises

I know, two posts in one day?  Crazy, right?  I just happen to have a couple of quiet boys today, so I've been able to think and write.  Thank God for the small things.  

I have been in a bit of a dry spell in every way possible.  Creatively, spiritually, emotionally, etc.  Today, I was looking for a verse to encourage me, and was about to read Romans 8:28 - "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose"

But, instead of focusing on that scripture alone, I read a couple of verses ahead in Romans 8:26 -27 - "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

This was the word of the day for me.  The Holy Spirit helps me in these times of weakness, times where I feel empty and dry.  When I don't know what to pray, when I'm feeling like I'm not worthy to come boldly before the throne of grace, the Holy Spirit is there, interceding according to God's perfect will.  

Let me just encourage you, if you are where I am.  God has not left our side, He will not leave nor forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6&8).  He loves us with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).  He goes before us and makes our crooked places straight (Isaiah 45:2).  He is in our midst, rejoices over us with gladness, and quiets us by his love - he exults over us with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17).   This is just a tiny sample of the promises in His Word.  2 Corinthians 1:20 - For all the promises of God find their Yes in him. That is why it is through him that we utter our Amen to God for his glory.

Thank you, Father, for your promises.  Thank you for bringing these things to my remembrance, even when I feel weak, distant and dry.  I know that you love me with an everlasting love.  Help me to live like I know that promise.  I say Amen to the promises that you have already said yes to!  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Forgiveness

I've been thinking about forgiveness for some time.  Last week a friend sent me a text asking if I could write about it.  I started this post over two months ago, and I never completed it.  Her text prompted me to finish.  Thanks, Lisa.

Websters Dictionary defines forgiveness as:  To give up resentment of or claim to requital for; to grant release from payment; to cease to feel resentment against.

Unforgiveness gives seed and root to bitterness and anger.  Bitterness and anger are like a cancer to our minds.  They multiply, get harder to combat if we don't address them, and infect any new relationship that comes along.  I know, from personal experience, I have brought in bitterness or anger into new relationships without realizing it.  Looking back, I can see why certain relationships failed.  Hopefully, this will help me in the future.  

I'm not a doctor, and I don't play one on TV.  However, I have read many studies and articles on the effects of forgiveness/unforgiveness.  There are lots of studies that show the effects of unforgiveness are detrimental to our physical health.  

The Mayo Clinic lists these as some of the benefits of forgiveness:

• Healthier relationships
• Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility
• Lower blood pressure
• Fewer symptoms of depression
• Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

For me, that last one includes "food abuse" since that seems to be my substance of choice when I am needing emotional numbing.  But that's another post. click here to read.

What does God say about forgiving?

Forgiveness is an act of faith out of obedience to God.  It is not admitting the other person is not at fault, but releasing that person from having control in your life and body.  

Many times, the person we need to forgive is someone who doesn't even know they have wronged us.  I have LOTS of experience here.  For me, many of the people I need to forgive have really not even done anything wrong "to me", but it is a perceived wrong and I harbor resentment and unforgiveness.  This is not the way that God would have us walk.  

In other circumstances, forgiveness is much harder because it is a very real and known fault against someone, or even a recurring sin.  Jesus told an amazing parable about forgiving.  Matthew 18:21-22 - Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Ouch!  7 times 70?  Really God?  He goes on after telling Peter to keep forgiving, again and again, to tell the story of the unforgiving servant.  The servant was forgiven much, but could not extend that same mercy to another person who owed him.  He was then jailed until his debt was repaid.  How many times are we holding on to someone else's debt instead of forgiving as God has forgiven us of such great debt?  

There is so much information in the Word about forgiveness.  If God chose to talk about it and give so many examples of it, isn't a good idea to take a look at our own lives and decide to forgive and let go of the hurts against us?  Here are a few scriptures on the subject.  There are many more, so I encourage you to look them up and read them.

Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:13 - bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Mark 11:25 - And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

Father, I repent for holding on to unforgiveness, resentment, bitterness and anger.  I release those things to you, I place them at your feet.  I ask for your forgiveness as I start anew.  I pray that you would bless those who hurt me, and lead them closer to you.  I ask that you would shine a light in my own heart in areas where I have hurt others, and I ask for forgiveness in those areas.  Father, let us be a beacon of your great love to all.  Help us to let go of hurts and to focus on the forgiveness you have extended to us.  I love you, Father!  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Love and Mercy

Love and Mercy go hand in hand.  You can't have love without mercy, and you certainly cannot have mercy without God's love working in you.  John 3:16 is the ultimate display of mercy - For God so LOVED us (the world) that He gave his only son, that whoever would believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life (Mercy). 

Every day I pray over my children, that they would walk in mercy and love mercy.  Micah 6:8  Mercy is undeserved forgiveness, and Grace is undeserved favor.  I pray that my children will walk in forgiveness and give it to everyone, even those who don't "deserve" it.  After all, isn't that what God did for us through Christ?  Ephesians 4:32

I pray these things over my children, but shouldn't I really be praying them and practicing them for myself?  Aren't love and mercy the easiest way to show others the work of Christ in our lives.  We don't need to scream it out, but instead, live it out.  Sometimes living a life in Christ speaks a lot louder than our words ever could.  Because of Christ going to the cross, we don't get what we deserve, instead, we get mercy; undeserved forgiveness.  The greatest example of living out loud, more than speaking out loud was the work of the cross.  

This is my prayer for all of us:  Father God, let us be examples of your love and mercy everywhere we go.  Help us to wear our mercy where others can see it and touch it, and most importantly, experience the profound mercy of Christ in us.  Thank you, Father, that your mercies are new every morning.  Let that mercy work in us so that we can have new mercy every morning toward everyone we come in contact with.  Let us be a light and to shine your love and mercy as a beacon on a hill where people go to find refuge.  Allow us, God, to serve you by loving everyone and walking in mercy.  In Jesus Name, Amen!