The Transformation

At this time last year, I sat down with my notebook and wrote my goals.  I also wrote my "One Word" for the year - Transform.  (My word for 2016 is Believe)  In my notebook, I wrote down my weight and all my measurements.  I kept track on the first of each month to monitor my progress or lack thereof.  Today, I am down 28 pounds and LOTS of inches in my waist, hips, thighs, etc. I still have further to go, but I am satisfied with the direction I am heading.   

However, I learned a lot in the process.  It's true that 80% of weight loss is what you eat, and 20% is moving your body.  I know this because I could have lost double what I did if I had a little more control over my diet. I saw the monthly totals going down SLOWLY.  I also know this because my husband started his journey in May and lost more than double what I did by watching what and how much he ate.  He's skinny now, y'all!  

I also learned that it takes courage to start going to the gym and try something new.  One of my goals last year was to start going to a class.  It took me 3 months to try one - Tae Bo.  After 20 minutes in that class, I thought I was dying.  I left early and went back to the treadmills.  I didn't leave, even though my pride wanted me to.  It took me another 4 months to gain the courage to try "the big one".  I wanted to try Bodypump for years, but was never brave enough to give it a try.  Finally, after trying it out, I fell in love.  I go 3-4 times a week now, in addition to regular cardio workouts.  

Another thing I learned is that most people at the gym are willing to help out.  Of the different machines and classes I tried out for the first time, there was always someone willing to answer my questions and help me out.  I also found that they aren't going to automatically help, so you have to put yourself out there and ask for it.  Also, if you let instructors know you're new, they will show you how to modify, and how to keep good form so you don't hurt yourself.    

I did make big changes, but I'm still learning in my journey.  I just want to encourage you, if you feel stuck, or feel like you fail your resolutions every year.  Don't give up.  Start where you are.  Everyone has to start somewhere.  Don't be intimidated by the skinny girls or bulky guys.  Most people are just trying to become a better version of themselves, so you do you and don't worry about where they are on their journey.  Make goals and go after them. Find someone to help you, keep you accountable and to encourage you.  

A Funny Thing Happened...

At the end of November, I made a choice that December was going to be a no/low blogging month.  I had no idea what was in store for us, but I thought it would be a time of family and reflection.  I had really big goals for my blog for 2014.  I had big plans for my personal writing time, and for where I wanted to take this thing.  

One thing was lacking, I was making goals without consulting with the One who directs my steps.

Then, my father-in-law passed away, my son was dealing with some school issues, my mom got the flu, my sister is getting married and I'm the matron of honor, so writing took a back seat in some old abandoned car parked in an overgrown field.  It just didn't come to mind.  

Since the beginning of the year, I've participated in a couple of link ups, but I have had absolutely no motivation to write like I was so determined to at the end of November.  I was working hard to network and make friends, learning the great benefits of twitter and facebook in regard to drawing readers in.  It was exciting, but then felt really empty for me.

All of those life things have become what God has used to re-prioritize my focus from me, and my goals to Him and His plan.  It's time for me to step aside and let God's plan become my plan and His dream for me become my dream for me.  

In fact, I have had no desire to write and pursue those goals.  I don't think this is a forever thing, just a season that either I need to rest in, or pray through.  I'm not sure which one yet because I'm not exactly in a hurry to get out of this season.  I've been enjoying my kids more, reading more, and getting back into a regular exercise habit.  

I'm also determined to make time with Jesus my number one priority.  I have devoted so little time to Him, to prayer, worship, and the Word that I have nothing to give, nothing to write about.  If I'm not prompted by a link up, I got nothin'.  

So, if you regularly read my blog, hang in there with me, and I'll be back to regular posting when I feel the focus is back on the right thing. -Not promoting me, but promoting Him.  Less of me, more of Him.  

I've heard it said so much over my life, but I really get it now - I must decrease, so He can increase.  I must withdraw from the business of being busy and building something so that I can hear Him more clearly and know the direction He has called me to go.

A Thankful Heart: 5 Ways to Lay Aside the Weight

As I start writing this blog, I find myself with tears welling up.  See, my story is constantly evolving and changing.  I feel so fluid, but I know God is still at work in me.  I've written about my food struggles in the past.  Truthfully, I am stopping myself now, writing this blog to have some accountability.  

This past week I've indulged in more food than one person needs to eat.  Honestly, I could have fed a whole family on what I, alone, ate yesterday.  I was miserable when I went to bed, and miserable when I woke up this morning.  My heart hurts for so many, and the way I cope (when I'm not getting enough time with the Lord) is by eating.  

So, as I was thinking about all of this today, the Lord reminded me of Hebrews 12:1-2.  I know this verse is not talking about weight as in the scale, but it is talking about those things that weigh us down and keep us from finishing our race.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

Gluttony is a sin that I know well.  It is probably the sin that I grapple with the most, and have to rely on grace to bring me out of the cycle of guilt associated with it.  It's not that I want to be a skinny model, but I do want to be healthy.  I do want to make better choices so I can run with endurance the race that is set before me.

I really can't run that race carrying the 50+ extra pounds on my body.  It weighs me down in ways that I was not created or designed to be.  

So, what is my action plan?  

1.  The only thing that will keep me on track is my daily time with the Lord.  "looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith".  Before I can conquer any part of my day, I have to set my eyes on Him alone and remember that "greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world."  

2.  Make exercise a priority.  When I have been successful in healthy living, it has been because I exercised first thing in the morning.  Personally, I have to quit lying to myself that I will exercise "later."  Later doesn't exist when it comes to schedules.

3.  Overhaul of food choices.  I'm already pretty careful about snack foods that come in.  I don't buy Oreos because I WILL eat the whole pack.  The thing that is my Achilles heel is soda.  I have been addicted to it for years, and it will take more than shear will to wean off them.  I will need some serious prayer, y'all!

4.  Get organized.  This doesn't seem to fit in with laying down the weight, but it does.  The thing is, it is easier to make healthy living a priority when we are organized.  I can't tell you how many times I have forgone exercise over trying to get my office organized.  Then, I get online and forget what I was doing.  At that point, I'm discouraged because I have done neither thing that I really needed AND wanted to do.

5.  Finally, my post HERE about cleaning up is in direct correlation with all of this.  I didn't realize 2 weeks ago, when God was dealing with me about social media and other distractions, that He was preparing me for laying down the weight.  Essentially, the things that distract me most every single day need to get a time out.  From Facebook (which has been off my phone for 2 weeks) to even checking the news need to have a break from me.  Too much information, not enough action.

All of this, for the joy that is set before me.  To run the race fully, and to complete what He has called me to do.  

I am truly thankful for a God who is active in my life.  He's active in yours, too.  He cares for us, friends.  He cares deeply about our heart, about our lives.  

Father, thank you so much.  Thank you for providing a way for us to lay our burdens, our weights at your feet.  We know you care for us.  I ask that you would encourage anyone who feels burdened and weighed down whether by food or other poor choices.  I ask you to minister to them the way you did for me, reminding them of your word and your promises for them.  Father, speak to them the way they understand you most, making clear to them the hope and the future you have for them.  I thank you for your word, that it does not return to you void and empty, but goes out and accomplishes that which it was sent to fulfill.  Thank you for fulfilling those things in me, which you have spoken to my heart.  In Jesus' Name, Amen!

Iron Sharpens Iron

I am so incredibly blessed to have grown up in church.  I feel even more blessed because I had awesome youth pastors!  My youth pastor, Jimmy Kirby, challenged us to learn the Word, study it, memorize scripture.  "Put the Word in you when you don't "need" it and it will be there when you do!"  Understand that we always need the word, but his point is that we go through highs and lows in life.  When you have studied and hidden the word in your heart during the high seasons, it's there for you in the low seasons.  I have found this to be so true in my life!!!  Jimmy started a discipleship class for us, and I think about a dozen or so youth signed up.  At the time we were running probably 75 strong in our youth group.  This was a lot back in 1990!  Anyway, in discipleship classes, we were asked to memorize LOTS of scripture, make sacrifices in our tv and radio time (this is a big deal for a teenager), and study the word.  One of the scriptures that mean so much to me is Proverbs 27:17 (AMP) "Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend [to show rage or worthy purpose]." 

I was thinking about this all day today.  We were made to sharpen each other.  I am so thankful for my small group friends, who challenge me in the way I think and the way I approach God.  I am thankful for the women God is placing in my life to challenge me in all aspects ranging from physical, financial, spiritual, etc.  These ladies sharpen me, they make me want to strive to be better.  I miss some of the older, wiser women who once were prominent in my life.  I don't see them much anymore. 

This leads me to what I really am writing about.  One of my goals for this year is to not be lazy.  I'm not off to a great start, but I am slowly making changes.  I think in my head, I envisioned the starting line to a race and that I would take off in a blaze of glory.  Not happening.  So, keep me accountable, friends.  Sharpen me!  Give me tips for saving money, getting organized, achieving goals, being a better mommy, wife and friend.  I know you can't make it happen for me; I need to get moving and do it myself.  However, if you would just continue to encourage me to be productive, I would really appreciate the sharpening!  I'll sharpen you as well!  Love you girls!!!

God is in the small stuff (goals)

Before I start this new blog, I'd like to ask you to overlook any grammatical or spelling errors. I'm writing as I think in my head, sometimes in fragments, sometimes in run-ons. :)

I am not always privileged to see God's hand in my life in immediate circumstances and living, but I do know He is at work in me. Sometimes, it takes years for me to look back and finally realize exactly what He was doing and is doing. Occasionally, I see it at the moment it's happening. Right now, I see nothing. I feel nothing. I am distant from Him, from everyone else, from me. Even in my distance, I KNOW He is at work. Doing what, I don't know.

It has been years since I have made real goals for myself. I haven't written goals, dreams or visions in years. Habakkuk 2:2 says "...write the vision". I need to get over feeling ridiculous writing down goals and dreams for myself, no matter how unattainable they may seem on paper. With God, all things are possible (to those who believe). I have to ask myself, "do you believe what you talk about?" I DO. Now, I just have to act on my belief. I need to strengthen my faith. Jude 20 - "But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit". I need to spend a little more time in prayer and building my faith. This means changes for me. Less TV, more WORD. Less chatting online, more chatting in prayer. Less of ME, more of HIM!

One of the priorities I feel that God has put on my heart for 2011 is to cultivate my friendships into lasting, strong and deep friendships. Not to just have many acquaintances, but to have meaningful relationships with people I care about, and who care about me. 2010 was a year in which I met many new ladies, and I look forward to this year being filled with those ladies in my life. Proverbs 18:24 "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 27:17 (AMP) - "Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend."

I have also been giving much thought to laziness. Proverbs 10:4 - "Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth" I know, without a doubt, that I have allowed myself to get really lazy over the past 10 years. I went from running/walking/working out on a daily basis to barely lifting myself out of bed or off the couch. I've gone from working 80-90 hour work weeks to being a full time stay at home mom. DISCLAIMER - In no way am I calling a SAHM lazy!!! The demands are much higher, and the work is MUCH harder. There is no such thing as a vacation day, and if your sick, you just suck it up! My point is that as a SAHM, I have the option of wearing my pajamas all day if I want to, and I do that quite frequently. After dropping Luke off at school, I often find myself putting on my pj's for the next few hours so i can relax. I end up spending a lot of time online, on my phone, or just sitting on the couch. This year, my goal is to get up and make a difference. I want to make a difference, not only in my life, but in my family's life, and in the lives of the people I will come across. I also want to take care of the things I have put off for too long. (doctor appts, organizing, garage sale, etc)

Another goal for 2011 is to learn a new hobby! I want to learn to sew and quilt this year! I have the sewing machine, now I just need to take a class and get going. I have no scriptural reference for this, just a strong desire to increase my talents and abilities.

I want to be a better financial steward in 2011. I'd like to attend a FPU, if Todd will agree to go with me. There are a TON of scriptures on giving, tithing, and being faithful with finances. I don't want to live foolishly, but with wisdom and integrity in my finances. I believe we can attain our goals for this year!

Of course, like so many others, I have goals for losing weight, eating better, saving money, etc. But, those are my most immediate goals for the year. I have them in writing. I am aiming to update my blog once a week in order to keep myself accountable for the year. Happy New Year everyone! 1.1.11