New Year's Eve...Happy New Year

The New Year has always been magical for me.  It's like the old stuff just goes away, even if only for a night, and the new just rushes right in.  We get a blank page, a new pen, and we can write away.  All of my life, I have set goals or resolutions at the new year.  Each year looks pretty much like the year before it.  Always striving to be something better, do more, or just make new habits.  This year, I've decided to do something different.  I was inspired by this blog: One Word 365

I thought long and hard about posting my word, but I felt like there was power in sharing it.  If I keep it to myself, I tend to tuck it under the bed and forget about it.  If people know about my WORD, they know what to ask me, or how to encourage me.  So, my word is Passionate.  When it came to me, I kind of didn't like it at first.  Passion to me invokes images of romance, and that's not what I wanted for the new year.  However, when I thought about it more, I thought about how passion involves strong feelings toward another.  My passion for God has dwindled over the past few years.  The passion in my marriage could use a boost.  Passion for my kids, my health, my finances, and many other areas of my life could be recharged.

The first definition of Passion in Merriam-Webster Dictionary is : the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death.  WOW!!!  Let me be like Christ and give it all with passion and not passiveness.


His love for us was with great passion.  Another definition was "an object of desire or deep interest."  This is what has eluded me for some time - deep interest in anything.   It is not too hard.  God is awesome, and He reminded me of this promise during Sunday's sermon at church.

Deuteronomy 30:11-14 "For this commandment that I command you today is not too hard for you, neither is it far off. ¹² It is not in heaven, that you should say, ‘Who will ascend to heaven for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ ¹³ Neither is it beyond the sea, that you should say, ‘Who will go over the sea for us and bring it to us, that we may hear it and do it?’ ¹⁴ But the word is very near you. It is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it."


Father God, as we move into the new year, I pray that you do a new work in our hearts.  In areas where we are dry, fill us with the water of your Word.  I pray that this will be a year of renewed passion for me.  I pray that you build in me passion for You, passion for your people, and passion to lead people to You.  It is not too hard, and I pray that you remind me of this truth daily as I seek You in Your word and through my quiet times with you.  I thank you, Lord, for renewed passion in every area of my life!  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Quiet Times

It's not that I haven't had anything to say for the past 3+ months, it's that I've chosen to be quiet.  I have enjoyed this quiet time.  I've quieted my mind, which is necessary from time to time.  I'm looking forward to writing more soon, but for now, I'll leave with a thought - seek to please Him today.  He will supply your needs, whatever they may be, just put Him first, and rely on Him for EVERYTHING!  Thank you, Lord, for this clarity!

He'll Be Faithful To Complete It

I'm in a weird season in my life.  I feel empty and broken, but at peace and content.  I have nothing to offer, but me.  I have no creativity in my thoughts or actions, and basically feel like I need a list of how to's for everything from making dinner to serving a friend.  But, in the midst of the brokenness and emptiness, there is a calm. 

I've realized that God holds me in His hand.  He has already numbered my days and knows every hair on my head.  He loves me unconditionally, and has already set out my future, though I may not know what that means.  I'm resting in the knowledge that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it!  When God starts something, He finishes it!  He is growing me in His grace, and I'm learning to love this process. 

Not everything is perfect in my world, but knowing that God is not giving up on me gives me strength for the day.  I often feel not good enough.  Thank God for His promise to complete what He has begun in me!  Philippians 1:6 - Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 138:8 -The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.  Do not forsake the work of your hands.

Father, thank you for loving me enough to send Jesus to die for my sins.  I repent for allowing my insecurities and failures to sideline me and keep me from pursuing a deeper relationship with you.  Other people are not the reason I have held back in my worship toward you, it solely rests upon me.  I ask for your forgiveness and strength to press through the walls that I've built up toward you and those who love you.  I ask you to create in me a clean heart, O God and renew the right spirit within me.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me!  Thank you for the promises in your word, for pursuing me when I turn away, and for always working in me!  I love you Lord!  In Jesus Name, Amen!

Answering the Call

Growing up, I always believed that answering the call of God on my life would mean full time ministry, preaching His word, something BIG.  But, I'm starting to realize that sometimes that call is just for me to write, or encourage others, or intercede.  Those are gifts and talents He's given me, so instead of burying them, perhaps I should use them!  I guess it takes some growing up, knowing the Lord on a more intimate level, and trusting that He will do right by you. 

Honestly, if you told me 20 years ago that I would be a suburban mom driving a mini van, I would have laughed and said you were missing it.  I was in bible college at the time, and truly believed that I would be a full-time missionary, or traveling minister for the rest of my life.  I thought for sure I'd be married by 20, and have 7, yes SEVEN, kids by age 30.  I had this Utopian life all planned out for myself, and I didn't give a second thought to anything else.  So, when 20 came and went, all the way to age 27, I was confused and couldn't figure out why God wasn't matching up to my plans.  HA!  As if the Almighty would follow my plan.  Things I know now at age 38. 

So, when I find myself wondering what it is I'm supposed to "do", I often go back to the little things I've seen in my life that had to be the hand of God and not my own doing.  Sharing Jesus with the high school football player that sat behind me in Government class, writing songs and poems about God's love, encouraging friends and family, and just praying over people.  I KNOW that God has gifted me to pray, so why does it seem so insignificant?  The truth is that intercessors are necessary to the church, to the community and to the world. 

God is so good.  I love having a heart to pray for people who need prayer, and really, who doesn't need prayer for something.  Thankful for God's word, Hebrews 4:16 (ESV) says "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."  Thank God we can boldly go before His throne of grace in times of prayer!  I am now daily answering the call God has placed on me to pray.  I feel at peace knowing THIS is my big call, THIS is what I was created for, and THIS is my purpose! 

Falling in love all over again...

I am so in love with my Lord and Savior.  He always meets me where I am, and is constantly working in my life.  He is so steady and faithful.  Yesterday, I was talking to someone about where I was in my struggle with food, my emotions, my walk with the Lord.  I told her I felt like I was on the mountain, getting close to the top and God was working on the other side preparing my ram (symbolizing Abraham and Isaac and the ram God prepared for them as they obeyed Him).  This flooded my heart for the day.  I just could relate so well as I am endeavouring to obey the Lord in all that I do.  My redemption is at the top of the mountain.  I feel pretty awesome right now.  I can see how God is weaving together my story for others, and how I'm breaking through to the other side.  I feel freedom from so many things that have hindered me and held me back for years, and I give all glory, honor and praise to God for the work He is doing and has done in me. 

I am re-learning who I am in Christ.  If we know who we are in Christ, all that other stuff just doesn't affect us the same way.  In Christ, I am more than a conqueror.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  In Christ, I am blessed with every spiritual blessing.  In Christ, I have been given great and precious promises.  In Christ, I am redeemed and forgiven.  In Christ, I have been made righteous and am reconciled to God.  In Christ, I AM A NEW CREATION.  There are many more scriptures that show us who we are in Christ.  Praise God for the work He did through Christ to make us joint heirs with Him.  We inherited the promises of God when we became "in Christ", when we made Him our Lord, when we submitted to Him.

I spent over an hour in prayer yesterday, and it recharged my batteries and recharged my trust and complete confidence in Him.  He is so good.  He is so faithful and loving and true.  Get a hold of what has gotten a hold of you!  WOW!

Interesting how God works

In my previous post, I wrote about my insecurities.  Not two minutes later, I checked my email and my daily devotion had this article in there:

Freedom From Self by Sarah Phillips
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/crosswalk-devo/freedom-from-self-crosswalk-the-devotional-march-24-2011.html?utm_source=Crosswalk_Daily_Update&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=02/27/2012

I think it pretty much was a note from God, just for me.  :)

A Fish Out Of Water

For nearly a year I have felt like a fish out of water.  Uncomfortable in my own skin, not feeling like I belong anywhere, I have found myself really focused on my walk with the Lord.  Old insecurities have reared their head and continue to do so, even when I feel I have victory over one aspect of it.  This is my open book. 

I'm not fighting depression like I was over the summer, but those insecurities have certainly dealt me a hand this month.  I feel like I am tolerated instead of embraced, and that is at the heart of all my insecurities.  When someone is truly loved, they are sought after and pursued.  I often feel as though I'm not good enough in any circle of my life. 

It feels good to air out my feelings.  I don't feel this way every day, but when I do, I need to vent.  This feels like the safest place to do that without judgement or regret.

What am I giving up - More like what am I gaining?

Before I begin, let me say that I don't really know a lot about the origins or rituals of Lent.  I've been consumed with Lent since the beginning of the year.  I think there is a lot of mystery around it for me since I've never celebrated it, at least not intentionally.  I think I might have said I was giving up cokes for 40 days one year.  Seems silly to me to give up a food or drink.  I think if we are doing something to honor God or in the name of God, then it needs to be more intentional, not just a momentary sacrifice. 

I believe in fasting and prayer as a means of discipline, but to say "I'm giving up ______" for the sake of God would be a dishonor as it goes against everything Jesus died for.  However, to say "I'm seeking more of Him" honors Him AND changes us in the process.  When our heart longs for Him, He gently changes the condition of our heart.  It no longer becomes a sacrifice to "give up" sinful behavior, and it really becomes something that you no longer want.

I like Hebrews 12:1-3 (MSG) Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Wow!  Parasitic sins.  I love that version of that verse.  I don't think that eating chocolate is a sin, nor drinking Coke.  However, when it becomes a desire above God, or something that we can't live without, then it starts to take the place of God.  Let us be like Jesus, who never lost sight of where he was headed. 

Lent isn't just a period of "giving up" to show that you can suffer like Christ.  It's really silly to say that I'm suffering like Christ because I'm giving up ______.  He made the ultimate sacrifice that we could never repay, nor come close to sharing in.  Lent is more of a time to GAIN a closer walk with the Lord.  I don't want to remove grace by legalizing a season of reflection on His amazing grace.  This is a time to set aside 40 days to recognize and celebrate the work that God did through Jesus.  I'm grateful that I have this time to be renewed in His word, reflect on His goodness and be refreshed by His grace!

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for you are so good to me.  Thank you for continually leading me and guiding me with your loving hand through the work of the Holy Spirit.  Thank you for the work You did through Jesus in order to win me back to You.  You are a loving God, and I honor You today!  God, let me honor You in all that I do.  Create in me a clean heart during these next 40 days of thoughtful reflection of your mercy and grace.  In Jesus Name, Amen!

40 Days of Renewal

I am so excited about the season of Lent coming up.  I never celebrated this growing up.  To me, it was something only Catholics did.  My mom grew up Catholic, so I knew a little about it, but not much.  Lent is celebrated by a few denominations, including Catholicism and Baptist among others.  Over the past 10 years I have come to view this as an important season before Easter or Resurrection Sunday. 

I was referred to a book entitled "He Restores My Soul" by Jennifer Kennedy Dean.  It is a 40 day devotional.  I am planning to incorporate this book into my renewal time.  I will be fasting during this time as well.  No, I'm not abstaining from food for 40 days, but foods that I feel God is asking me to abstain from.  I can give 40 days when Jesus gave His life for me.  40 days is nothing in comparison. 

I feel like this is a time for renewal of my spirit, soul and body, and that it is a good time to reflect on what God has done in my life and will be doing in the future.  I have things inside that have lay dead and dormant for too many years.  I know God is stirring those dreams up, and in the process stirring me up for more of Him.  Hungry for His word, and His presence.  I'm believing that God will show Himself present in my life during this time and will not only renew me, but restore me! 

Thank you, Lord for your goodness and mercy, which follow me all the days of my life.  Thank you for your grace, which protects and saves me.  I am praying for your presence to be evident in my life and that I will be a reflection of you wherever I go.  I thank you, God for your loving-kindness, which is better than life!  I love you, Lord!

One Day At A Time

One day at a time sweet Jesus That's all I'm askin' of you
Just give me the strength
To do every day what I have to do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
And tomorrow may never be mine Lord,
help me today, show me the way
One day at a time

That song was in my head today, so I am posting it here.  I don't know who wrote it, or originally sang it, but I do like it.  The message at church yesterday was about growing stronger in the Lord and how not to do it.  I think this song embodies part of that message.  Take one day at a time. 

I'm trying my best to remember the thoughts I had before bed last night.  Almost every night I come up with great blog posts in my head and then I can't remember them the next day.  I don't like to turn on the computer that late because then I stay up way later than i want to...  

Okay, I remember now...  I was thinking about praying for our spouses, and how important that is.  We talked a bit about it on Friday in our small group, but I've been thinking about it more and more.  I know for me personally, when I pray for Todd on a regular basis, I care more deeply about his happiness and less about mine.  It's not that I am less happy, but I am actually more happy because my family is happy.  Our marriage runs smoother, and he is being built up through prayer at the same time.  Many times I will pray over something specifically for him and he will call me later that day or week and tell me about something I had been praying for when he didn't even know I was praying for that specific thing.  

I'm grateful that I had/have such a godly mother to teach me how to pray for my husband and children.  She was/is constantly praying over her family, and I can't imagine not having that covering for all of my life.  My mom is powerful in her prayer life.  She has taught on the subject of prayer for many years in different forums.  I am so grateful for that legacy.  But, she can't do it all for me; I have to put my faith into action as well.  So, I challenge my friends, if you don't already consistently pray for your spouse or children, take a few minutes to do so.  It WILL change your relationship in such an awesome way.

Now, back to the one day at a time.  Don't try to go into a marathon of praying for your family if you don't already pray regularly.  It's not about the length of time, but just setting aside a couple of minutes to give thanks to the Lord for your family and asking Him to watch over them and bless them.  One day at a time...