I haven't been posting regularly. I'm struggling. Struggling with a lot of issues. I've battled self-worth issues and occasional depression since my late teens. Every now and then it rears it's ugly head and I have to face it head on. This time, I feel differently about it. I'm just letting it run it's course rather than pulling myself up and tackling it. I can't explain it. If I'm not reaching out to others right now, it's really selfishness on my part as I'm completely burned out, and feel the need to focus on my own needs.
I feel as I have nothing to give to anyone, including my family and closest friends. I'm barely getting in a shower each day. I don't exactly love admitting my flaws, but feel that is the first step to establishing real, life-long relationships. If you can't be transparent with your friends, you might as well become a hermit and not have any friends to fool. I guess I'm writing this as sort of a release for me. I've felt pent up for weeks now. Todd has asked me almost daily what he can do for me.
Unfortunately, right now, there is nothing he can do but to pray. Please pray for me, too. This is something I'd like to overcome completely. Honestly, I know what I need to do, but have absolutely NO motivation or will-power to do it. I don't even have the desire to get the motivation, which kind of frustrates me! So, if you think of me, pray for me. God knows what I have need of.
