Most mornings he climbs into my bed and rubs his soft little hands on my cheek. He whispers "I love you, Mama." He's a gentle spirit that most people don't get to experience. He loves to hold my face and smother me with one hundred kisses. His gentleness is countered with an exciting personality. He's somewhat of an enigma, my sweet Jacob. I get to experience and see his sweetness on constant display when it's just the two of us. He's as much an extrovert as he is a gentle and quiet spirit. He loves people, and loves making friends.
I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be his mother, to love and mold this sweetness into a young man who will love and be gentle with his future wife. He exudes joy and says "hi" to every single person that passes him in the grocery store. He would talk with anyone who wants to listen about superheroes. He's blunt and to the point, which I pray serves him well as he grows.
Why am I writing all this about Jacob? Just a few months ago, I wasn't as pleasant in my description of him. In fact, I could point all the negatives, all his imperfections in a second. He was getting under my skin with the constant hitting, pinching, scratching, jumping on the bed, talking loud, talking at all, and pretty much everything else about his "boyness".
But, thanks to God's grace, I started to see that he was starving for my attention, and wanted to be held a little longer. He wanted to snuggle up to me more, and he wanted me to listen when he was trying to tell me something important to him. He was showing me just how smart he was, and how perceptive. I was amazed and caught off guard one day, two months ago, when he was talking and I wasn't listening. He said "Mama, why aren't you listening to me." I was giving him quick yes and no answers, not really listening to his questions. He could see through those answers to my heart. It broke my heart and was a wake-up call to me.
It's never easy to be put through the fire like that, but there is always refining that happens when we step into the fire of correction and growth. God is always at work in us, and in those around us. If we will open our eyes, we will see the significance in the small things.
So, today, I am so thankful for my sweet Jacob. His gentleness, his love for others, his desire to honor God, even at the young age of 4. He blesses my life. I make the choice to see all his positives, and when someone asks me to tell them about Jacob, may the words of my mouth pour out blessings rather than disappointment. I will give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will (1 Thessalonians 5:18) He is my gift from God.
James 1:17 "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."
